Overheard on the starship Enterprise:
"Don't be alarmed, but I think someone on the ship is actually an owl."
"Who?"
"I knew it was you ..."
Don't be too quick to be offended - you'll find a list of things women will never say at:
www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/things-women-will-never-say
Here honey, you use the remote.
Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Today's mailing is going out late today. Grandma Cybersalt and I are having a good visit in snowy Ontario. A few days ago our eldest grandson turned 13. I am not sure how that happened so fast, but it is a mystery I am grateful for!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Overheard on the starship Enterprise:
"Don't be alarmed, but I think someone on the ship is actually an owl."
"Who?"
"I knew it was you ..."
I hate it when people think they are so intelligent and start talking about Mozart when they haven't even seen one of his paintings.
I'm currently reading a book on Do-It-Yourself house construction.
By Bill Jerome Holmes
"Grace is opposed to earning, but not to effort."
- Dallas Willard
Week three of writing a song for each one of the devotionals mentioned in the book "52 Bible Verses for Men" by Samuel Deuth These songs are the product of my love for God and music. They are in no way perfect. If you think these demos deserve merit to be completed and mastered, let me know which and why. I'd love your feedback.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8-year-olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my Mommy makes coffee for my Daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 5
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate."
Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."
Jenny - age 4
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"My Mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 5
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 8
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."
Bethany - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
One of the most profound questions Jesus often asked during His years of ministry, and still asks each of us today, is … “What do you want Me to do for you?”
Similarly, in our everyday lives, we often ask one another, “How can I help you?” This question reflects Christ’s own servant heart. While we may not perform miracles as Jesus did, we are still called to serve others in a Christ-like way. Our acts of kindness, whether small or great, are opportunities to reflect His love and character to those around us.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Sunday greetings everyone.
Grandma Cybersalt and I are heading off on another trip tomorrow, so with that news I'm off to take care of more last minute things to do!
Today's video share is restored footage of a 1907 streetcar ride in Victoria, BC, Canada (home of Cybersalt World Headquarters.)
Click Here
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
A goober is standing on one side of the river when he sees another goober on the other side.
He yells out, "How do you get to the other side of the river?"
The other goober responds, "What do you mean, you are already there!"
Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.
A frog got his DNA tested.
Turns out he's part Irish, part British, and a tad Pole.
"The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them."
- Unknown
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.
The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families."
The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."
The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
One thing I have learned in life is that for many people, truth is a relative thing. The truth is what they say it is, and you can't convince them otherwise.
I wrestle with telling the truth all the time. If you tell the truth, you do not have to remember what happened. But when you lie, you have to have a good memory of what the last lie was. Unfortunately, I do not have that kind of memory.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
