Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. I'm getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I have made great progress in my recovery from both my sprained ankle and last week's serious bout with the flu. I am still super tired, but grateful to be moving in the right direction!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival, my potential acquaintance gave to me,
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18 member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)
TEN melanin-deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
carol
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically-disadvantaged female persons stealing milk products from enslaved Bovine Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally-protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen, nonhuman animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally-sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled, processed tree carcasses,
and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
- Barb Taub, originally published in The Wall Street Journal on January 6, 1994 with the title "The Twelve Days, Deconstructed."
Choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life ... because that field isn't hiring.
Santa had a bit of an accident while playing golf today. His ball hit a bird on the second hole.
It was a partridge on a par 3.
“Christmas celebrates the awesome and amazing fact that God is grander, wiser and more mysterious than we could have ever imagined.”
– Dan Schaeffer
It's said that Abraham Lincoln once sized up the case of a prospective client as follows:
"You have a good case, technically, but in terms of justice and equity, it's got problems. So you'll have to look for another lawyer to handle the case, because the whole time I'd be up there talking to the jury, I'd be thinking, 'Lincoln, you're a liar!' and I might just forget myself and say it out loud."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
As flocks of birds by instinct gather
To migrate as the jet streams flow
My heart song dims because I’d rather
Escape the north-east winds that blow
To hibernate and mourn the passing
Of sun-drenched days that warm the skin
Or choose instead to count the blessings
Of warm, dry shelter, friends and kin
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A husband and wife had been married only a few short years, and he was getting fed up with being bossed around by his wife; so he went to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist told the husband that he needed to build his self-esteem, and gave him a booklet on assertiveness to read.
By the time he reached home, he had finished reading the booklet.
He stormed into the house and walked up to his wife, pointed a finger in her face and said,
Choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life ... because that field isn't hiring.
Santa had a bit of an accident while playing golf today. His ball hit a bird on the second hole.
It was a partridge on a par 3.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
