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'Twas the month after New Year's, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
Then I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.  When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honour and obey,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

The big day comes, and the bride and groom exchange their vows.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday because there was no internet at Cybersalt World Headquarters. Even though we still had data on our phones, I skipped the complication of working around that and gave myself the day off.

Today's video share had me asking, "Would I get in this to go to an appointment?"  Would you?
Click Here

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

A Morgue Story

I knew a guy who worked in a morgue. When he was new to the job his coworkers encouraged him to prank the boss by getting on a slab in one of the drawers to jump-scare him when he pulled him out.

So he strips off, lies on the slab, and the coworkers cover him up, slide the slab away and close the door.

Thing is, inside the storage there are no walls between the slabs, so he's lying there in the dark with all the corpses becoming increasingly anxious.

After about 5 minutes the corpse next to him says, "Cold in here, isn't it?" and he sat up so fast he nearly knocked himself out.

It was his boss on the slab next to him.

One-Liner #1992

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark, so in a triathlon it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

My Office Name

My boss calls me "The computer" because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

Quote #2428

Do the right thing.

The law is almost always a lower standard than ethics.

When companies justify uncomfortable decisions as "legal," it doesn't make those decisions right.

- origin is unknown, but is used by leadership author & speaker Simon Sinek

Kind Gesture

I sat by a lovely man from Australia during the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. He kept pulling out new flags from his bag and waving them. I asked him about it and he said,

"I bring the 9 smallest nations flags with me as they won't have many people in the stands."

‍Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

R‍ev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I Didn’t Have Google, I Had Grandma

It was Thursday, and as usual, I was busy working on weekend projects. My biggest project, of course, was my Sunday sermon. Most people don't understand the amount of hard work that goes into preparing a Sunday sermon. And I work hard.

I was spending time researching some ideas on Google. I spend a lot of time on Google because it helps with my research. I'm able to find certain subjects very quickly.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.