I went into a Timex shop to buy a battery.
The owner asked, "Is it for a clock?"
I answered, "I don't know. That's why I need the battery."
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Oh look, Chicken Thursday on New Year's Day!
Happy New Year everybody! I hope today finds you in the same condition as my son's dog, Ruko, who was visiting with the rest of his family in the lead up to New Year's Eve: resting, but ready to play ball when it's time! (I suppose there is also wisdom in trying to blend into the background at times, lol.)
God bless you all richly in soul and abundantly in heart 2026!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even brought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
Life is like a game of chess; I don't know how to play chess.
My favorite coat is falling apart and now I'm going to have to throw it out.
Or sew its seams. 😁
"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past."
- Henry Ward Beecher
The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia. The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought Captain John DS. Phillips, the result.
The Warrimoo's position was LAT 0º 31' N and LONG 179 30' W. The date was 31 December 1899.
"Know what this means?"
First Mate Payton broke in, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line."
Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime.
He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the ship's position. He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed.
The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor.
At mid-night the SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed the International Date Line!
The consequences of this bizarre position were many:
This ship was therefore not only in:
Two different days,
Two different months,
Two different years,
Two different seasons
But in two different centuries - all at the same time!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
By faith, we rest our heads on our pillows each night, fully expecting to wake up to a new day. Under most circumstances, we don’t even think about it. Each day is a gift.
That’s why I don’t get too excited about New Year’s celebrations. Every single day should be celebrated as a new beginning. Every precious moment presents new opportunities. Each passing second is a gift from God.
My daughters and my soul sisters know that when God calls me home, I want the hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness” to be sung.
God’s faithfulness is what I can depend on. It is never dependent on circumstances; instead, the certainty that He is faithful is a truth deeply rooted within my soul. God has me protected under the shadow of His wings. “He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler” (Psalm 91:4).
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Life is like a game of chess; I don't know how to play chess.
Three guys got into a car crash and all died. When they got up to heaven and met St. Peter at the gates, Peter said, "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck."
The gates opened and they saw there were ducks everywhere; all over the ground, on tabletops, on the gold paved streets - everywhere!
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
