It's like my mom always told me ... "You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."
A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. When the salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer exclaimed, "This isn't the price I saw!"
The salesman went on to tell the farmer how he was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, special tires etc. and that was what raised the price up. The farmer needed the truck badly, paid the price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for sale?"
Sunday greetings everyone!
Today is an exciting day at Cybersalt World Headquarters as another science experiment comes to an end — namely, seeing if I could keep myself alive for a full week on my own.
Tomorrow afternoon, I get to head to the airport to pick up Grandma Cybersalt, who has been back east helping care for our grandson while his parents were on a mission trip. I was there for the first part of that visit, but after spending time with my parents, I flew home to work and keep things running here.
I’m actually quite proud of myself. I’ve put a lot of effort into keeping the house clean instead of being lazy and leaving a huge mess to deal with at the last minute while rushing out the door for the airport. So, good news all around!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.
I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it was a pretty bad chameleon.
Justice is a dish best served cold.
If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
"When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers."
- Socrates
Hello friends,
If you've been following along, you already know I'm trying to write a song every week. And let me just say — this is not a small task. I may be losing a little sleep over it, but I'm honestly very excited. There's something special about digging into Scripture and letting it shape a song.
A woman had a beautiful black cat with white feet, named Socks. Socks spent his days outside and came indoors only at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared.
She searched for him high and low for several days, but all in vain. The following spring, however, Socks reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he'd just been out sowing his wild oats, and let it go at that.
Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Socks once again disappeared. The next spring, just as the prior year, he returned.
When it happened for the third year in a row, she became very perplexed, and decided to investigate. She started by asking her neighbors to see what, if any, information they might have.
She was down to the last house on the block, the home of an older couple. If they didn't have the answer, she wasn't sure where she would turn. So she went up and knocked on the door.
The lady of the house answered, and she asked her, "By any chance, have you ever seen a black cat with 4 white feet around here?"
"A black cat?" the woman said. "With 4 white feet? Oh my, yes! He's the sweetest thing. My husband and I kept seeing him outside every fall. We hated it that the poor thing had to be out in the cold, so we decided that when we go south for the winter, we'd take him with us. He's been going to Florida with us every winter for the last few years."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
One of the most valuable gifts in life is the ability to see. I cannot imagine a day I cannot see.
I was having some trouble with my eyes about four years ago, and I had to go to my eye doctor and have cataracts removed from both my eyes. Before I had the surgery, I was really having a hard time seeing things. It wasn't easy to read or work on my computer.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Justice is a dish best served cold.
If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it was a pretty bad chameleon.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
