It's a good day ... the bulb finally burned out on my check engine light!
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
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One of our elders is raising rabbits. They live in a rabbit hutch in his backyard.
I decided that they needed a more classy domicile so I made a sign for their enclosure which reads: "Hare Salon."
- Raul el Perro
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Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
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(This note, from me, was written to the PearlyGates Newsletter subscribers in 2002. My mother is now 84.)
Dear PearlyGates subscribers. To get the gist of today’s PearlyGates item (sent to this clean but theologically incorrect joke list for obvious reasons) I need to give you a bit of background behind it. This is an e-mail that I received from my mom on Monday.
Before I was born, my mom was one of the first police women in Toronto - only two other jurisdictions in the world had police woman at the time. For a number of years she was a single mom – waitressing at a bar at night so my sister and I could eat pork chops at dinner while she got by on grilled cheese sandwiches. Today she works at the Ontario Provincial Police Headquarters (ViCLAS division) doing data entry of investigating officer’s report booklets containing details of murders and sexual assaults. I’m telling you all of this because as you read the e-mail below you need to read it as from a woman with a lot of street smarts. She is also a woman with a life background that leaves her very little patience with people who have a lot of “street” but very little “smarts”. BTW, she is 62 and a half years old and a big Buffalo Bills fan.
Anyway, here is the e-mail my mom sent me. It cracked me up pretty good and so I wanted to share it with you all so you can enjoy my mom along with me.
Read more: From Hooters to Frostbite: My Mom’s Epic Buffalo Bills Game Day
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The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of coffee; this means that the average human gets 41 miles per gallon.
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An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
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