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Entertainment

Santa and System Admins

 

Santa Claus sitting in a large armchair, looking directly at us.The similarities between Santa and System Admins:

1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
3. Santa seldom answers your mail.
4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
8. Santa laughs entirely too much.
9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME.
10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.

  • Office Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Santa Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5078 - December 11, 2025

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - welcome to December!

Today's mailing is brought to you by Tylenol and my fever - who are fighting it out!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 



Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus

A woman in a Santa hat, red sweater, long dark curly hair, holding a red-wrapped gift.1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.

2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.

3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job requirement.

4. One big black belt - accessorized for life!

5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done.

6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.

7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled... that is when you giggled... like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.

8. You'd always work in sensible footwear.

9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty "'Ho! Ho! Ho!", would remind everyone who's boss.

10. You wouldn't need an expensive briefcase.

11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work.

12. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing.

13. No more trips to the vending machine... you'd just snack on milk and cookies all day.

14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package.

15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap.

16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office.

17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue.

18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.

19. No one would ask to see your job description.

20. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not pout.



One-Liner #1982

A woman with long braid and blue button down shirt looking very happy.According to my chocolate Advent calendar, there are only 3 days until Christmas.




Warning: May Cause Snorting 😂

A right-side view of Alexis Karpouzos sitting at a desk looking at us.There are eleven types of people in the world ...

Those who understand Roman numerals, and those who do not.



Quote #2418

A porcelain Mary and Joseph in a familial embrace holding the baby Jesus."If you can only make Christmas exciting with material things, how will the children get a thirst for God? Bend the efforts of your imagination to make the wonder of the King's arrival visible for the children."

- John Piper



Celebrating the Birth

Two women eating out at an outdoor patio table.Two women who were having lunch in an elegant hotel were approached by a mutual friend who asked the occasion for the meal.

One lady replied, "We are celebrating the birth of my baby boy."

"But where is he?" inquired the friend.

"Oh," said the mother, "you didn't think I'd bring him, did you?"

What a picture of the way the world treats Jesus at Christmas.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Susan Page writes . . . . 

In Christ, I Am God's Child

A lamp post and banner on a snowy winter day.I took this photo at Fair Havens Ministries on a snowy winter’s day. Is there any greater comfort than knowing we are God’s children? Is there any greater peace than knowing we are firmly rooted in Christ Jesus? This truly is the reason we celebrate this festive season!

During Christmas, there is tremendous pressure on our schedules. The spark of hope may fade into a mere flicker as exhaustion settles into our tired souls. We might miss the greatest gift, which is the true joy that comes from the message of Christ's coming to earth.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5079 - December 11, 2025

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - welcome to December!

Today's mailing is brought to you by Tylenol and my fever - who are fighting it out!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 



Santa and System Admins

Santa Claus sitting in a large armchair, looking directly at us.The similarities between Santa and System Admins:

1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
3. Santa seldom answers your mail.
4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
8. Santa laughs entirely too much.
9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME.
10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.



One-Liner #1983

A young woman with long curly hair and an orange winter coat looking at us pleasantly.My husband just fixed all of my anxiety... He said, "Just don't worry about it" and I can't believe I didn't think of that myself.




Friendship Law

A man and a woman holding hands over a cafe table with coffee, cupcake and more.Friends who eat together are taste buds.



Quote #2419

A close up of fire in a fireplace, the flames in mesmerizing patterns and shapes."'Is not my word like fire, say the Lord!' Gather 'round that fire this Advent season. It is warm. It is sparkling with colors of grace. It is healing for a thousand hurts. It is light for dark nights."

- John Piper



About Buttermilk, Biscuits, and Life

farm wheatA pastor attended a men's breakfast in the middle of a rural farming area of the country.

The group had asked an older farmer, decked out in bib overalls, to say grace for the morning breakfast:

"Lord, I hate buttermilk," the farmer began.

The visiting pastor opened one eye to glance at the farmer and wonder where this was going.

The farmer loudly proclaimed, "Lord, I hate lard."

Now the pastor was growing concerned.

Without missing a beat, the farmer continued, "And Lord, you know I don't much care for raw white flour."

The pastor once again opened an eye to glance around the room and saw that he wasn't the only one to feel uncomfortable.

Then the farmer added, "But Lord, when you mix them all together and bake them, I do love warm fresh biscuits. So Lord, when things come up that we don't like, when life gets hard, when we don't understand what you're saying to us, help us to just relax and wait until you are done mixing. It will probably be even better than biscuits. Amen."

Within that prayer there is great wisdom for all when it comes to complicated situations like we often experience.

Stay strong my friends, because our life is being mixed with lots of things that we don't care for......relax and wait until the mixing is done.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

A Surprised Pre-Christmas Gift Special

A Christmas gift in the hands of a man looking at the tag with a fireplace and more gifts in the background.Like everyone, I enjoy the Christmas holiday from beginning to end. It's my favorite time of the year. The most important thing is the family gathering in the celebration.

I enjoy everything about Christmas except that I'm not so fond of Christmas shopping. That is not something I enjoy. Compared to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, who is the Queen of cash registers, I am not qualified to do shopping.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Warning: May Cause Snorting 😂

A right-side view of Alexis Karpouzos sitting at a desk looking at us.There are eleven types of people in the world ...

Those who understand Roman numerals, and those who do not.

  • Clean Puns
  • Psychology Puns
  • Math Puns
  • Logic One-liners

Driving Test

A close up of a middle-aged white man with big eyes and a confused expression.You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left hand side there is a valley and on your right hand side there is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you there is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you there is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Driving Jokes
  • Puzzle Jokes

Read more: Driving Test

  1. One-Liner #1982
  2. Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5077 - December 7, 2025
  4. A Royal Riddle

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4636
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4636

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4636

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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