A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher's counter.
The lady asks, "What in the world is that?"
"Beef tongue," replies the butcher!
The student asked the professor how many problems there would be on the final exam.
The professor looked the student over and replied, "I think you will have lots of problems on the final."
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
– Steven Wright
- You've read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2021
- You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
- You've definitively figured out a way to get Gilligan OFF the island.
- You decide to see how many Surges you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
- People come into your office frequently... to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
- The 5th Division of Paperclips has completely overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.
- You forward this joke to friends.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
I had another "time is flying by moment" yesterday when I learned of the passing of singer B.J. Thomas.
I became a follower of Jesus in the fall of 1979, when I was 13. A couple of year's later I bought one of B.J.'s records (technically it was a cassette) and listened to it countless times. That would have been around 1981, which was 40 years ago! It blows my mind that those memories I have are as old as the amount of time that Israel wandered in the desert after being freed from Egypt.
As if that "40 years" math result was not enough to make me feel my age, I searched YouTube for the first song that came to mind from that cassette; "His Eye is On the Sparrow." That was an eye opener too, because as I listened to it for the first time in decades, I thought "You listened to that when you were a teenager? You are OLD!"
Listening to it again has reminded me of my teenage faith in Jesus and the promise and hope that in all the things I had ahead of me (known and unknown) His eye was on me and He would be with me. It's a popular conversational icebreaker to ask people what they would tell their younger selves if they could travel back in time. But in matters of faith, we might do just as well to ask what our younger selves would say to us if they could travel forward in time.
After all, what was true in 1981 is still true today, even if a lot has changed in 40 years.
Not surprisingly, todays "video" share is B.J. Thomas singing "His Eye is On the Sparrow."
Click here to listen the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
Behind every successful working woman is an enormous pile of laundry!
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price.
Last week, for example, I had to go clear across town for my appointment with my eye doctor. Somehow I think they try to figure out where to place a doctor's office, so it isn't easy to get there, especially when there's a time element involved.
Read more
"Friendship always benefits. Love sometimes injures."
- Seneca the Elder
A woman was waiting at an airport one night.
There were several long hours to wait for her flight.
She hunted for reading in the airport's gift shop
bought a big bag of cookies -- found a place she could drop.
She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see
a man sat beside her -- as bold as can be
and grabbed up a cookie from the bag in between
which she tried to ignore -- and not make a scene.
She munched at her cookies and glanced at the clock
as the masculine cookie-thief diminished her stock!
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by
Thinking, "If I wasn't a lady, I'd blacken his eye!"
With each cookie she took, he took one or two.
With only one left, she watched what he'd do
With a grin on his face, and a nice nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half!
He offered her half as he munched on the other
She snatched from him and murmured "Oh Brother!
This guy has some nerve, and he's also quite rude
He never showed even polite gratitude."
She had never known when she had been quite so galled
She smiled with relief when her flight -- it was called.
She gathered her stuff and marched to the gate.
(With not even a glance at the thieving ingrate.)
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought out her book which was almost complete.
As she reached in her bag, she gasped with surprise,
Her bag of cookies were in front of her eyes!
"If mine are right here," she moaned in despair,
then the others were his and he was trying to share!
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price.
Last week, for example, I had to go clear across town for my appointment with my eye doctor. Somehow I think they try to figure out where to place a doctor's office, so it isn't easy to get there, especially when there's a time element involved.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
