An old wild west fort was about to be attacked. The wily old general sent for his trusty Sioux scout.
"You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here."
She has the personality of a dial tone.
Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job centre he was offered work at the local zoo.
When he arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section.
Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Martin was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.
"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.
"I can't believe it" said Martin. "I just opened the door and then.....Whooooosh!"
Microchips: what's left at the bottom of the bag when it reaches you.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
Grandma Cybersalt learned a new word today - so I did too. The word is liminal, defined in one way by Mirriam-Webster as, "of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition." (I wonder if any of us are *not* in that state right now, given how our world is currently!)
I know I am in a liminal time in my life in regard to the loss of my childhood friend 2 months ago. As confident as I am in the genuiness of Darrell's faith in Jesus, and God's faithfulness and ability to take care of him in eternity, whenever I begin to be comforted by those facts my heart says, "Wait, I'm not ready yet."
One of the great (and hard) features of a such a season is that it provides a pause that lets what has to belong in the past to be left in the past, so that the future can come can as it must and bloom without what is no more. Rushing, or being rushed, too quickly forward from one into the other is a recipe for the emotional disaster.
So, my body may be living in a world without Darrell, but part of my heart is taking a pause before joining it in a this new present. This liminality is protecting me from being torn by a tug of war between the past and the future. And that's OK for a season.
Today's video share may make you feel sad and maybe cry. But being sad and crying is also OK, which is one of the points of the song that these people are filmed listening to.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
What a teacher says and what he/she really means.
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.
7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
Really means: He's a bully.
9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.
12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
"The simple things are also the most extraordinary, and only the wise can see them."
- Paulo Coelho
A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?"
"No," he replied. A whole lot of them begin with "If elected I promise..."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Stress is not something new in my life or anybody else's, for that matter. The thing about stress is that you never get used to it, or at least I don't. I don't know what I would do if one week I had no stress at all. When that happens, I'll let you know.This past week has not been one of those stress-free weeks. Starting on the very first day of the week, stress poked its nose into my business.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
