I've seen some really awful truffles in my day.
Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.
What a teacher says and what he/she really means.
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I had to go for some bloodwork and an x-ray on my foot yesterday afternoon and hoped to squeeze in a haircut afterwards - if there was time. I had blocked out two hours to hopefully get the medical stuff done, which would involve lining up in two different places in the same building. I suspected that it was going to be more like two and a half hours and I was ready to miss out on my haircut.
When I got to the x-ray department I was pleased to discover that there was only one person ahead of me. Ten minutes later my feet, tanned and tingling from the radiation, were taking me upstairs to get the other test done.
When I walked into the lab I was amazed to see 5 staff members sitting and hanging out amongst themselves in the reception area. There was nobody waiting. Just like that time Grandma Cybersalt was looking for someone to marry, I was number one! Ten minutes later I was on my way to the barbershop.
It got even better after that! When I pulled my shaggy self up to the barbershop, there was my barber, sitting reclined in his chair waiting for someone to show up. Once again, just like that time I was in a police lineup, I was number one!
So, all in all my afternon outing was pretty much obstacle free!
Speaking of obstacles, today's fun video share (there are actually 2 videos) shows some quirrels that are so nuts for nuts they won't let any obstacle stand in their way.
Squirrels for Nuts - video one
Squirrels for Nuts - video two
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."
"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.
"We hadn't started eating yet."
Never lend money to a friend; it ruins their memory.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
A guy with three eyes, no arms, and one leg is hitchhiking.
A British gent pulls over, rolls down the window, and says, "Aye, aye, aye! You look 'armless! 'op in!"
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather a skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "WOW! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
A friend of mine had just become a district court judge and was nervous about presiding impartially over his first criminal trial. As a former prosecutor, he could see the preponderance of evidence was clearly against the defendant.
The proceedings went smoothly, until it was time for him to instruct the jury.
"The jury," he said, "is to convene to the guilty room."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A handyman was working for a temple in Allentown, PA, had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work.
First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there he would have to answer one question.
The priest asked, "Where was Jesus born?"
Never lend money to a friend; it ruins their memory.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
