Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen; he sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
“You know you are broke when you can’t even pay attention.”
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone and happy 4th of July to our US subscribers!
The "new" news around Cybersalt World Headquarters is that Grandma Cybersalt and I got our second vaccination yesterday. Back in April we received the AstraZeneca jab, and yesterday we followed up with the Moderna shot. We know we are blessed to be in this position which many in the world are not yet in. After leaving the vaccination centre we prayed in our car giving thanks to God, also asking Him to advance the end of the pandemic worldwide.
Now for the "old" news - believe it or not, this is my third try to send out the following. I originally wrote it on June 13th, (my mom's 81st birthday) but missed the last step to send the mailing out that day. Then last week I had it lined up to go out but a glitch in the system put a Rev. James Snyder article in place of the news instead.
So here we go again!
A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine called me up to review a business call he had just been on. He suspected it had gone poorly, but wanted my opinion. He described the conversation and to make a long story short, yes, it had gone poorly.
My friend was having a bad day.
The next day I was on a phone call with one of my clients and somewhere along the way I realized things had taken a turn for the worse and, try as I could to bring it to a less bumpy landing, it ended in a very bumpy way. A couple of hours later, after regathering my thoughts and myself, I was better able to see my part in the turbulence.
I was having a bad day.
I reminded myself, as I reminded my friend the day before, that there are going to be times in our lives when we don't get something right. We can try to avoid them, but we should still expect them so we aren't totally surprised by them. That way we'll have one less step to take as we move on, making better what we can and the most of what we can't.
Today's video share is of a place where nobody ever has a bad day: Bennu. Don't get too excited, nobody ever has a good day there either!
Click watch to listen the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a cute photo of me at age 15. Years later, when I went to the courthouse to become a citizen, a clerk confiscated my card.
"What will you do with it?" my wife asked.
"We burn it," was the answer.
"Could you please cut the photo off and let us keep it?" asked my wife.
"Certainly not," said the clerk. "This card is official U.S. government property. As such it cannot be mutilated before it's destroyed."
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need, not all this, "How did you get in my house" nonsense.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
When young José, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale.
Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, José wrote home enthusiastically about his experience.
"And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded.
"Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, 'José, can you see?'"
"I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom."
- Bob Dylan
Flying home after visiting her daughter in England, a woman arranged to have her husband meet her plane at the Vancouver, B.C., airport. This meant a stop at the border crossing between the United States and Canada, where her husband was asked,
"What is your reason for entering the country?" and "How long are you planning to stay?"
He replied that he was picking his wife up at the airport after her trip to England.
Without missing a beat, the guard asked two more questions in the same business-like tone:
"Is the house clean?" and "Are there fresh flowers on the table?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Like everybody else, I have my share of trouble. It’s not that I want to get into trouble, but trouble always seems to be somewhere near where I am at the time. I regret that time when I was first introduced to trouble.
Some trouble I can't prevent. It just happens, and no matter what I do, trouble is in the room. I don't think there's anything I can do about that, but I hope the trouble will not be that bad.
I know some people in my family get into trouble on purpose. The grand goal of their life is to get into trouble on a variety of levels. Back in the day, when we had family reunions, this person, which will remain anonymous, did everything he possibly could to make trouble.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need, not all this, "How did you get in my house" nonsense.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
