I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
The junior high school teacher was giving his students a test on American history. One question was:
"Who said, 'I regret that I have but one life to give to my country'?"
A youngster answered, "Nathan Haley said it. The saying is now known as Haley's Comment."
On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.
The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no 'I' in the word 'marriage.'''
The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
Having a weird mom builds character.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
"Shout out" to Cybersaltine, April H. who sent me an email after last week's digest.
She gave me a good laugh when she shared that it took a while for her to realize that Grandma Cybersalt is actually my wife and not my grandma. Of course, that means I am Grandpa Cybersalt, which I must admit has a very much less quaint ring to it in my head.
April also caught a mistake I made in the Cybersalt news last Sunday. I used "new" instead of "knew" in one of the sentences. She kindly wondered if I was making a play on words. All I can say is, "Kno, April, that was just a typo."
BTW, April was the only person to report that typo so either some of you regular grammarian Cybersalts are beginning to loose your edge, or else you've become so familiar with the frequent droning of my errors you've given up.
Speaking of droning, today's video share is of a singing, ringing tree. It's a piece of musical art which rightfully deserves to be in the middle of nowhere. In all the years I pastored local churches, I don't think I have felt more sorry for sheep having to listen to something!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.
As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.
"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer.
"That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
My wife told me I was immature this morning; so I told her to get out of my fort!
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
When I was young, my family was really poor. Everything I wore - socks, blouses, even handkerchiefs - had been darned over and over by my mother.
I wasn't the smartest or the prettiest, but I sure was the best darned kid in the neighborhood!
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these."
- George Washington Carver
Two friends were walking through the desert.
During the journey, they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: “Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: “Today my best friend saved my life.”
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”
The friend replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”
Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve your blessings in stone.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When it comes to flowers, I am the epitome of naivety. I have no expertise whatsoever in the plant world. All I see are red, blue and yellow.
Don't get me wrong here; I enjoy flowers. However, when it comes to names, I am off the planet. I don't need to know the name of a flower to really enjoy that flower. Instead, I enjoy the fragrance and the optics of a row of flowers.
If I had to take care of flowers, they wouldn't last more than 24 hours. Just because you like something doesn't mean you know how to take care of something.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
