Some days you eat salad and work out; some days you have cupcakes and pizza. It's called balance.
Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her some ice-cream.
The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"
Two atoms are eating in a restaurant.
Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my electrons!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"Yes," replied the first atom, "I'm positive."
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone!
I am happy to report that the efforts to bring Pastor Suneel Barkat to church plant in Canada have reached 87.5% of what is required. Please keep praying for God's perfect timing for this project that will change the lives of many!
Today's video share is another graphic reminder of how hard life is for so many in the world, and to be grateful for I have.
Click here to watch today's video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.
* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
* Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewers office.
* Candidate explained that her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer.
* Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
* Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
* Candidate brought large dog to interview.
* Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
* Candidate dozed off during interview.
The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.
* "What is it that you people do at this company?"
* "What is the company motto?"
* "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
* "Why do you want references?"
* "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
* "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
* "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
* "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
* "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
I wish I were a little kid so I can just take a nap and everyone will be proud of me.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
We all know that April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
"Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater."
- George Washington Carver
While serving as church usher, I was carrying out our tradition of escorting parishioners to their seats before the service began. After I returned to the entrance of the sanctuary to escort the next party, I greeted two strangers and asked where they would like to sit.
Looking confused, the young man smiled and said, "Non-smoking, please."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
If you came to our parsonage, you would discover all over our property, plants and flowers. Just don’t ask me to identify what they are. I can tell a plant from a flower, but that’s as far as it goes with me.
That is not true with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She gets all the credit for all the plants and flowers on our property. She knows them all by name. But, of course, I’m not sure if she’s making up those names because I couldn’t tell one plant from another plant.
Walking up to our house, you will see right next to the door a pineapple plant. I never knew exactly what it was, but my wife kept telling me it was a pineapple. Then this year, the pineapple actually developed. It took several years for it to get to this stage. It has grown quite a bit during this year. Looking at it, you would think you were in Hawaii.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I wish I were a little kid so I can just take a nap and everyone will be proud of me.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
