Entertainment

Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped his small plane with pontoons so he could land on the lake directly in front of his cottage.

On his next trip, he made his approach down the airport runway as usual. Alarmed, his wife cried out, "Are you crazy? You can't land this plane here without wheels!"

The startled husband abruptly yanked the nose up, narrowly averting certain disaster. Continuing, he landed the plane on the lake without mishap. As he sat there, visibly shaken he said to his wife, "I don't know what got into me. That's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life!"

And with that, he opened the door and stepped out, falling into the water.

A neutron goes into a bar. The bartender looks him over and says,

"Hey, for you: No charge!"

The man who moves mountains begins by carrying away small stones.

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Remember how I said I had chills when I was putting last Thursday's mailing together? Well, my doctor called me yesterday and let me know the results of the culture they took from my "sample" and it turns out there was nothing to grow. It's not the first time I have lacked culture so I am OK with that, but I've stopped the antibiotics and later today I am off to the doctor's to see what is still putting the "bop in my bop shoo bop shoo bop!"

Today's video share is a really beautiful look at what happens to soap bubbles in freezing temperatures.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No I haven't."

The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window: "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No I haven't."

Then suddenly there is a curve, the biker sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood, the biker asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20 years."

The biker says, "Tell me, where are the brakes?"

I haven't failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree."

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget."

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree."

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....

Ees, a Ham Bush."

“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”

- J. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

One day a father of a rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family.

When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "Well, what did you think, son? How was the trip?"

"Very good, Dad!"

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!"

"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden. They have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden. They have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon."

As the little boy finished, his father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I must confess I am too poor to pay attention at this time in my life. I hope one day I will win the lottery and be able to afford to pay attention. But, of course, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says that you can’t win a lottery unless you play the lottery. Well, I don’t play the lottery. Sigh!

I guess I will have to find another way to raise enough money to pay attention. Maybe if I could pay attention, I wouldn’t get into the trouble that I get into.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.