Our child has a great deal of willpower - and even more won't power.
- Red Skelton
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though.
One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis.
Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right.
"So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."
Sunday after church a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your blanket."
Needless to say, the mom was perplexed.
Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said, "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh Look Chicken Thursday!
I often attend the monthly "Coffee Talk" that the local Chamber of Commerce, of which I am a member, puts on at 8:30am on the last Tuesday of each month. It involves going to the location of one of our member businesses or organizations and mingling with 30 others before we go around the circle and introduce ourselves and what we do. Normally, I try to avoid doing things at 8:30 in the morning, but I enjoy meeting people at coffee talk and catching up with the many friends I have made there. This month's was especially enjoyable and left me feeling like a teenager!
The hosting duties were split between two members this past Tuesday. One of them was a local Pentecostal church who provided the location, and the other a business that puts on roller skating parties and events. So after the regular networking and sharing time, we proceeded to the gym where I roller skated for the first time in over 40 years!
In my teens, I often roller skated at the fairgrounds arena just outside of my home town, so I was very interested in skating again and seeing if I still had "It!" At the same time I was hesitant because I watch a lot of YouTube fail videos which often feature people who are old enough to know better to try things they could do when they were teenagers and I didn't want to end up lying on the gym floor, being attended to by paramedics who would probably be just a few years older than I was the last time I roller skated. However, I chose to put that hesitancy aside and not listen to the cautious voice in my head and embrace the chance to have fun. I also had to not listen to a voice outside of my head when Grandma Cybersalt (who is usually very encouraging) commented as I was heading out, "Try not to get a concussion" (or something like that.)
I am happy to say that it all went well and neither I, nor some fellow members that I almost knocked over, we injured. My first laps around the gym caused quite a frenzy in my brain as it scrambled to find the muscle memory files for roller skating (I think it was also shocked to find me on roller skates again) but eventually I was back to crossing over my feet when turning. I still had "it" only not capitalized any more, lol. Still, the whole experience left me surprised because I found myself thrilled to feel like, and remember, the boy I was 40 years ago.
Accordingly, today's video share is me roller skating!
Click Here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Pythagorean theorem: 24 Words
The Lord's Prayer: 66 Words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 Words
The 10 Commandments: 179 Words
The Gettysburg Address: 286 Words
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 Words
The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 Words
Ahhh ... The power of government.
I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo - seems like a very low number of rodeos.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
"A passerby stopped to watch a baseball game taking place at the local park.
"Who's playing?" he asked another observer.
"The Masons against the Knights of Columbus," he responded.
"What's the score?"
"I don't know. It's a secret."
It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
- African Proverb
On a business trip to India, I arrived at the airport in Delhi and took a taxi to my hotel, where I was greeted by my hospitable Indian host.
The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare. It seemed reasonable, so I started to hand him the money.
But my host grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge visitors. My host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to return.
As the taxi sped off, my host gave me the remaining bills and asked, "How was your trip?"
"Fine ... until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
After months and months of planning, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage finalized our vacation plans for the summer.
Because of our busy lifestyle, something like this cannot be done with just a snap of a finger, especially since the great-granddaughter invaded our family circle. If my wife does not see her every day, something is wrong. It took her a long time to plan a whole week in which she would not see the great-granddaughter.
The time, however, had come, and we were on our way to a well-deserved vacation in St. Augustine.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Pythagorean theorem: 24 Words
The Lord's Prayer: 66 Words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 Words
The 10 Commandments: 179 Words
The Gettysburg Address: 286 Words
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 Words
The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 Words
Ahhh ... The power of government.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
