The word queue is ironic - it's just a 'q' with a bunch of silent letters waiting in a line.
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Sunday greetings, everyone!
There was not Digest last Chicken Thursday: I was just too tired to put it together. I feel a bit guilty about that because just as I was giving up for the day, our daughter-in-law, Rebecca, was finally in labour! I guess somebody had to work!
Grandma Cybersalt and I were happy and blessed to meet our new granddaughter this past Thursday. Abigail Joelle Davis was born on Wednesday night at 10:10pm on July 26, weighing in at 9 pounds, 1 ounce! Everyone is healthy and well.
Today's video is of a very impressive tree. Some are calling it "Canada's Most Impressive Tree!"
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
ON DEEP THOUGHTS: A day without sunshine is like night.
ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES: There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?
ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS: A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
ON PROBLEM SOLVING: When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -Abraham Maslow
ON INFINITY: If you had everything, where would you keep it?
ON ECONOMICS: The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING: "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
English Professor, Ohio University ON REVISIONIST HISTORY: What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
ON DATING: When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.
ON LAMENTATION: Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
ON POETIC LOVE: When you're swimmin' in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That's a moray!
Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ON MODERNISM Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.
ON MATERIAL SCIENCE: Character density - The number of very weird people in the office.
ON LITERATURE: This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Dorothy Parker ON HUMILITY: To err is human, to moo bovine.
ON EXPLANATION OF THE END "One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs."
Robert Firth ON EXCUSES: I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
Joe Walsh ON NUMBERS: Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.
ON WORLD POLITICS: Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT: There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Hike in groups; bears like to have options.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Baseball was a well-established sport even in biblical times:
Genesis 1:1 ... "In the big inning"
Genesis 24:15,16 ... "Rebekah went to the well with a pitcher"
Numbers 11:32 ... "ten homers"
Second Kings 25:16 ... "and the bases which Solomon had made"
Psalms 19:12 ... "Who can understand his errors?"
Psalms 26:1 ... "1 have trusted, therefore, I shall not slide."
Jeremiah 15:7 ... "And I will fan them"
Ezekiel 36:12 ... "Yea, I will cause men to walk"
Luke 17:17 ... "but where are the nine?"
Galatians 5:7 ... "Ye did run well"
"People ask how I stay so positive after losing my legs ... I simply ask how they stay so negative with theirs."
- Sgt Johnny Joey Jones
"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers. "How?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Every once in a while, I have a little thought giggling in my brain to the effect that if only I had it my way. I don’t have it often, but I try to take it seriously when I do.
My personal history is that it turns out to be a disaster whenever I have everything my way. And, boy, have I had disasters in my life.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
ON DEEP THOUGHTS: A day without sunshine is like night.
ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES: There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?
ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS: A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
Baseball was a well-established sport even in biblical times:
Genesis 1:1 ... "In the big inning"
Genesis 24:15,16 ... "Rebekah went to the well with a pitcher"
Numbers 11:32 ... "ten homers"
Second Kings 25:16 ... "and the bases which Solomon had made"
Hike in groups; bears like to have options.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
