Thanks to Cybersaltine W. McLauren for sending these (I don't think he lives by or recommends all of them.)
Ineffective Daily Affirmations
-All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
- I am at one with my duality.
- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
Matt: I invented a thought-controlled air freshener.
Mike: That's ridiculous.
Matt: It makes scents when you think about it.
I'm doing one of those escape rooms today ... well, work... I'm going to work, but trying to figure out how t get out of it.
A guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There's not much happening at Cybersalt World Headquarters these days except for work, work, work! My brain feels fried!
However, it's not so fried that I would enter the race (which I am qualified to run in) featured in today's video share. But, I suppose I could always cheer on Grandma Cybersalt from the sidelines!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
At the end of last semester, a fellow student complained about how he failed the English course.
The teacher invited him to write a formal letter of complaint to the principal.
I glanced at his letter to see how it was going.
His first sentence read, "Dear Principle, it is infair and unposible that I faled english."
About four minutes into my run, I've decided I want to work on my personality instead.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
"Archeologists will date any old thing."
- Douglas Helsel
"We have suffered bereavement after bereavement, but we are going to the land of the immortal where graves do not exist."
- Charles Spurgeon
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain. I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.
To her delight, we rode it twice.
The next year we returned to Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed.
"Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go."
I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, "This year I can read better!"
God calls us to place child like faith in Him.
"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Mark 10:15
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
After my heart attack, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage enacted a dietary regimen in accordance with improving my health.
Rev. Suneel Barkat writes . . . .
This year, we celebrated our elder son's birthday on the 24th of April. It was a great day for us as we thanked the Lord and prayed for him. He cut the cake in front of the guests, and everyone congratulated him as he received the gifts. He then said to me, "Papa, I want to ask you a question." I replied, "Yes, definitely ask." He asked, "I have been with you for 12 years. How do you feel? Explain your feelings." Upon hearing this, I was shocked and surprised. The room fell silent. It was indeed an interesting and worthy question. I began to reflect on the past 12 years from his birthuntil the present day, as each year brought different feelings for him.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
