The older I get the more I regret all the people I've lost over the years; maybe being a trail guide wasn't such a great idea after all.
Entertainment
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir!" the new recruit replied.
"Oh, well that's okay then!" said the boss.
"Because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
Charlie entered a butcher's apprentice program.
After about 6 months of cleaning equipment and grinding meat for hamburger and sausage he felt he was ready to move on to steaks, chops, roasts etc.
He told the boss that he was anxious to "Get off the ground floor."
- Ken Pinkham
Click here to view this edition online!

Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone - and Happy Mother's Day to those who are celebrating!
We're getting some very early summer-like weather at Cybersalt World Headquarters and I am happy about it. I have returned to taking breaks from work, going outside, and lying down on the grass and handpicking weeds. Pulling out weeds is a great way to avoid pulling out hair!
Today's video share is about something that is super old and historical, but that people are still able to use as usual: The Cosmati Pavement at Westminster Abbey.
Click here to watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Things My Mother Taught Me
My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."
My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"
My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"
My mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"
My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home."
and my all time favorite - JUSTICE
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU...then you'll see what it's like."
One-Liner #1745
I asked my mom if I was adopted ... she said, “Not yet, but we placed an ad.”
- Dana Snow
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Look Like Mom
A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up.
"I'm going to look just like you, Mommy!" she announced.
"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.
"No Mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."
Quote #2181
"Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
- Marion C. Garretty
Mother's Day Sneak
It was Mothers Day in Georgia in 1970. I had just retired from the Air Force and was in Milledgeville attending Georgia, College.
That Mothers Day Sunday, my family and I were at Molesville Baptist Church waiting for the Preacher to begin when I looked around noticing our 12-year-old son was absent. My wife and I looked at each other with questioning eyes, thinking he was probably outside playing with his friends.
Ten or fifteen minutes later the choir was singing and still no son. Thirty minutes later the preacher was well into his sermon and still no son. I knew in my heart of hearts the only thing wrong was his priorities, which as soon as we came face-to-face again, I would direct him into knowing what was important and what was not important.
Since we only lived about a block from the church, all through the sermon I was thinking he had gone home to watch television. I knew when I found him, he would not either be able to sit down for a week or be interested in watching television.
As soon as the preacher said the benediction and without staying to shake hands with fellow worshippers, my wife and I rushed for the door and on our way home. With anger building with every step I took toward the house, I imagined what I would say and what I would do as soon as we found him.
With all that tension and anxiety building, can you imagine our surprise when we walked into the house and found him sitting on the sofa waiting for us with a smile. I was just about to let it all out, when without saying a word he stood, took his mother by the hand, and led her into the kitchen.
There before us was a beautiful table of food that our twelve-year-old son had prepared for my wife as his Mothers Day gift for his mom with his smile as garnishing for the meal.
Later, we learned he left immediately after Sunday School to rush home to have it prepared for his Mom when she returned after the sermon.
Isn't this the way God is sometimes. We look at our circumstances and stand wonder at how bad we think things are. Then, when we see God's outcome, we can only bow our humble heads in amazement at how things turned out for our good and His glory!
- Lawrence Brotherton
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Ugly Isn’t For Sissies
Over the years of marital bliss, we’ve not had many disagreements. She likes broccoli. I like Apple Fritters. We’ve never been able to come to any agreement with that. But, outside of that, everything has been rather smooth.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up.
"I'm going to look just like you, Mommy!" she announced.
"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.
"No Mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1986
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2044
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
