Entertainment

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog.  Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray.  We all want him, but only one of us can take him home.  So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback.  "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed.  He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie,"
and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute.  Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just got home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply "It's after seven o'clock!"

No wonder English is so hard to learn.

We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television.

The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.

"Hey," commented my 11-year-old, "it sounds as if someone just got his food."