While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.
"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."
"So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.
The guide replied, "One."
Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies... "No matter what!"
On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive and it ended up on the cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, "Wait a minute!
We agreed that we would not improve our lies! Remember? No matter what!"
The first player tried to explain that he was entitled to this relief, that it was in the rules of golf. But the second fellow would not allow it.
Throwing up his hands in disgust, the man went to the cart and grabbed a club. As he stood near his ball, he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the club on the pavement and sending out showers of sparks.
Finally, he took his shot. The club hit the path again, sparks went flying, but his ball shot straight towards the green, landed and rolled to a stop - two inches from the cup.
"Great shot!" his friend exclaimed. "What club did you use?"
The man gave him a wry smile, "Your 7 iron!"
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."
Gross pay: $1222.02
Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax
244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89
County Tax City Tax Rural Tax Back Tax
6.11 12.22 4.44 1.11
Front Tax Side Tax Up Tax Down Tax
1.16 1.61 2.22 1.11
Tic-Tacs Thumbtacks Carpet Tacks Stadium Tax
1.98 3.93 0.98 0.69
Flat Tax Surtax Ma'am Tax Parking Fee
8.32 3.46 2.60 5.00
No Pkg Fee F.I.C.A. T.G.I.F. Life Ins.
10.00 81.88 9.95 5.85
Health Ins. Disability Ability Liability Ins.
16.23 2.50 0.25 3.41
Dental Ins. Mental Ins. Reassurance Coffee
4.50 4.33 0.11 6.85
Coffee Cups Calendar Floor Rental Chair Rental
66.51 3.06 16.85 .32
Desk Rental Union Dues Union Don'ts Cash Advances
4.32 5.85 3.77 0.69
Cash Retreats Overtime Undertime Eastern Time
121.35 1.26 54.83 9.00
Central Time Mntn Time Pacific Time GMT
8.00 7.00 6.00 24.00
Bath Time Time Out Oxygen Water
4.2 44.44 12.21 10.02
Electricity Heat Air Misc
38.23 51.42 46.83 144.38
Take Home Pay: $0000.02
(This is where the expression "just my 2 cents" came from?)
The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap.
All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching.
"What club should I use now?" he asked the pro.
"I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
