Issue # 3342
Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:
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Here's what's new on the Cybersalt Site today - and in recent days.
There is a new post on the Simply Susan blog. You can read "Free Like Never Before!" at:
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Rev. James Snyder writes about apologies on the front page at: I make a bit of a confession about my strating to lean towards Apple products in the funblog at: And for those who like to keep up Westside Bible Church's services and messages, what we have recorded are updated once again at: Here is today's CleanLaugh - "10 Vet Bill Signs" 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came with payment coupons. -- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist. -- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'" -- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish. -- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray. -- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners. -- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic. -- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?" -- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing: "We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...." You can rate this joke at: Today's CleanQuote "The happiest part of a man’s life is what he passes lying awake in bed in the morning." Today's Illustration - "A Strong Woman Versus a Woman of Strength" A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape ... A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ... A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her ... A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future... A strong woman walks sure footedly... A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face... A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey... - Marta S. Hardy The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by: Cybersalt News I was in the market for a used car today. I just about bought a Toyota but with all the news about them lately I went with a sweet deal I found on a Ford Pinto. I'm so glad the media helped me keep perspective on things. Some people like their moose in the freezer while others prefer the backyard sprinkler. Today's FunBlog features a video for the latter - though the former may get ideas from it too. Speaking of freezers, Rev. James Snyder thinks someone is upset about the cold weather - well actually more about the people who are all up in arms abouthot weather. You can read "Mother Nature's Cold Shoulder Revenge" on the front page at: Finally, my hat's off (caouse it'snot snowing where I live!) to all who mde the right choice and went with SmileBox to get ready for Valentine's Day. It's not too late to get on the "Phew" bandwagon - SmileBox Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Windshield Wiper Quit" Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm. Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear. Not only that -- you'd be surprised at how many people waved back. You can rate this joke at: Please, under no cicumstances think that I do not realize that the following puns are anything other than painful and torturous. But for those who like that flavour of the genre, here you go, lol! What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day? Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend? Today's One-liner "Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Some people like their moose in the freezer while others prefer the backyard sprinkler. Here is video for the latter - though the former may get ideas from it too. Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm. Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear. Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by: Cybersalt News OK, I need to have a heart to heart talk with the men reading this. Ladies, of course you may read along since this involves you but you might find some of the guy talk a bit rough so be warned. Men, Sunday is Valentine's day and the special woman in your life wants you to do something special for them. This special thing will make their heart feel warm and fuzzy and gushy (rhymes with "pushy" not "lushy"). This special thing is probably also something that isn't obvious to you because what they really want is for you to think and figure out what would be meaningful to them that you would never in a hundred million years think of unless you try to. Please get off the ledge; it's not as bad as it sounds. Just avoid things such as appliances that make household work easier, products designed for self-improvement (ie. body shape, breath smell, etc), power tools YOU really want, and any kind of art that involves the hair on your back. What you have to do is communicate how you value them - honest, my wife just told me so as I read this to her ( including the part I just removed). I suggest the following for a start. Gather together some pictures of the favorite moments you have shared together and make a beautiful slideshow of them - complete with words describing your feelings about her. Smilebox But in today's economy and world, there is a shortage of money and a shortage of heartfelt sentiment so why not help cure both with a Smilebox Speaking of gift giving and back hair, today's new links on the Cybersalt Site will hopefully give you a laugh about both. Beware of the Dog House: Valentine's Back Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Sermon Feedback" They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went. The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground." The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!" You can rate this joke at: Today's CleanQuote "Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine." - Paper Today's Illustration - "Reputation" Lenora, 95-years-old and in excellent health, confided that she was terribly worried: "Every one of my friends has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where *I* went!" The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org. If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection! It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today. Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny. Here's where we keep our funny car pictures. And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here. It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach. Here's our funny horse pictures collection. We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends. Merry Christmas! When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy! Our collection of puns. Our collection of funny signs. A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
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- Samuel Johnson
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...
but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...
a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...
but a woman of strength wears grace...
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong...
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Issue # 3341
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Today's CleanPun - Valentine Puns
A hog and kisses!
It was Valenswine's Day!
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
A hug and a quiche!
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
He gives it a valenshine!
"Be my valenstein!"
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Not only that -- you'd be surprised at how many people waved back.
Issue # 3340
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Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
https://www.cybersalt.org/ Subcategories
Clean Jokes
Article Count:
3626
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes
Article Count:
77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Your Turn to Be Funny
Article Count:
3
Funny Elephant Pictures
Article Count:
16
Cybersalt Digest Archive
Article Count:
1572
Games
Article Count:
15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures
Article Count:
679
Funny Car Pictures
Article Count:
169
Funny Cat Pictures
Article Count:
231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures
Article Count:
149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
Funny Horse Pictures
Article Count:
24
Funny Christmas Pictures
Article Count:
53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
Pearly Gates Jokes
Article Count:
544
FunBlog
Article Count:
533
Clean Puns
Article Count:
1996
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs
Article Count:
167
One-liners
Article Count:
2050
Chicken Humor
Article Count:
1
