Entertainment

A newly ordained preacher and his young wife were talking about being more considerate of each other.  The good wife promised that she would stop being so critical of his sleep- inducing sermons.  He, in return, promised to honor her privacy and stop looking through her dresser drawers.

The preacher was true to his word, and never looked through his wife's dresser drawers; the good wife was never openly critical of her husband's sermons; and their marriage progressed smoothly.

After 50 years, their children gave a great party to celebrate the golden anniversary of the preacher and his wife.  Many people came to congratulate the happy couple, and brought lovely gifts.

That evening, as they were putting the gifts away, the preacher saw that his wife had left one dresser drawer slightly open.  He tried as hard as he could to withstand the temptation, but he finally opened the drawer and looked inside.  There he found 3 eggs, and $10,000.00, in bills of varied denominations.  He was greatly puzzled by this, and went to question his wife.

"Oh," she said.  "Well, you remember when we spoke of being more considerate with each other all those years ago?"

The preacher, feeling profoundly guilty, answered "yes."

"Well," she continued, "I promised to stop criticizing your boring sermons, but every time you gave a sermon that was a real snoozer, I put an egg into that drawer."

The preacher smiled.  "Well, that's not so bad.  50 years of sermons and only 3 eggs!  But what about all that money?"

His wife quietly responded, "Every time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.

"These" she explained "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

Millionaire: What's your name, driver?

Driver: Alfred, sir.

Millionaire: I always call my drivers by their last names.

Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir.

Millionaire: Drive on, Alfred

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him.

But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.

"Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks need all the practice you can get."