Entertainment

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

"So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.

The guide replied, "One."

Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies...  "No matter what!"

On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive and it ended up on the cart path.  As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, "Wait a minute!
We agreed that we would not improve our lies!  Remember?  No matter what!"

The first player tried to explain that he was entitled to this relief, that it was in the rules of golf.  But the second fellow would not allow it.

Throwing up his hands in disgust, the man went to the cart and grabbed a club.  As he stood near his ball, he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the club on the pavement and sending out showers of sparks.

Finally, he took his shot.  The club hit the path again, sparks went flying, but his ball shot straight towards the green, landed and rolled to a stop - two inches from the cup.

"Great shot!" his friend exclaimed.  "What club did you use?"

The man gave him a wry smile, "Your 7 iron!"

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

Gross pay: $1222.02

Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax
244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89

County Tax City Tax Rural Tax Back Tax
6.11 12.22 4.44 1.11

Front Tax Side Tax Up Tax Down Tax
1.16 1.61 2.22 1.11

Tic-Tacs Thumbtacks Carpet Tacks Stadium Tax
1.98 3.93 0.98 0.69

Flat Tax Surtax Ma'am Tax Parking Fee
8.32 3.46 2.60 5.00

No Pkg Fee F.I.C.A. T.G.I.F. Life Ins.
10.00 81.88 9.95 5.85

Health Ins. Disability Ability Liability Ins.
16.23 2.50 0.25 3.41

Dental Ins. Mental Ins. Reassurance Coffee
4.50 4.33 0.11 6.85

Coffee Cups Calendar Floor Rental Chair Rental
66.51 3.06 16.85 .32

Desk Rental Union Dues Union Don'ts Cash Advances
4.32 5.85 3.77 0.69

Cash Retreats Overtime Undertime Eastern Time
121.35 1.26 54.83 9.00

Central Time Mntn Time Pacific Time GMT
8.00 7.00 6.00 24.00
Bath Time Time Out Oxygen Water
4.2 44.44 12.21 10.02

Electricity Heat Air Misc
38.23 51.42 46.83 144.38

Take Home Pay: $0000.02
(This is where the expression "just my 2 cents" came from?)