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"Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement."

"Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir," the radar man replied, "have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"

George W.  Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair.  The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

George W.  approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses."

The man ignored George W.  and stared at the ceiling.

George W.  positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses".

The man continued to peruse the ceiling.

George W.  tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses".

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "Yes I am".

George W.  asked him why he was so uppity and the man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend forty years in the desert".

There are never any secrets!

A young couple decided to wed.  As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive.  Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.
I love my fianc?e, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.  "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." "No, you don't understand.  My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this.  In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth.  The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth.  Not a word," her mother affirmed. Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony.  Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well.  That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off.  Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed.  This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"

Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.

"Madam," he explained, "this is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."

"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."