Entertainment

Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When a young man stepped out the door, a group of officers pounced, cuffing him and hustling him into a squad car.

Seeing my astonished frozen expression, one cop came over and said, "When they say the movie is due by noon the next day... they mean it!"

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.  With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.  In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.  The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read,

"My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.  In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- Make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."

I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke down.

Calls to auto-supply houses and garages in search of replacement parts proved futile. The 1962 model was simply too rare. Responses ranged from "Mas-a-what?" to "You've got to be kidding."

One guy just laughed.

I was at the end of the listings in the Yellow Pages when I dialed Victor's Garage. "Vic," I said, "you're my last hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1962 Maserati?"

There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared his throat. "Yes," he replied. "Oil."

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.

Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine.  He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

Ben searched diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spotted something shiny.  As he got closer, he realized that the shiny object was in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben screamed out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I've got big trouble down here."

Thomas came running over to the edge of the ravine and called out, "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouted back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron!  Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."