Entertainment

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following hand printed sign on it .  .  .

"Energy efficient vehicle.  Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step on exhaust."

Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer.

"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."

"I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."

A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday.  Not too many weeks thereafter and just as services are starting, they show up.

Attendance was good in the small Methodist church and there wasn't a pew available.  Several church members were already seated on folding chairs.  When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back."

The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?"

"Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister.

The usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face.

Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly.

"Three chairs.  For the Baptists," he enunciated.

The usher's face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the congregation.

"All right, everybody," he called out to the assembled worshipers.

"Three cheers for the Baptists!"

The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?"

"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time.

A few minutes later, she piped up again "Are we there yet, sonny? Have we reached Oriskany Falls?"

Once again, he replied "No, not yet. I'll let you know when we get there!"

The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view.

Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the breaks, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady."

"Is this Oriskany Falls?"

"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"

"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill."