I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son.
Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, end fur disc raisin pimple caudler Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning Rat Rotten Hut's murder color in set: "Ladle Rat Rotten hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter and shirker cockles. Tick disc ladle Tudor cordage offer groin murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shake lake; dun stopper laundry wrote and yonder nor sorghum stenches dun stopper torque wit strainers!"
"Hoe cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, and tickle ladle basking and stuttering oft. Honor wrote Tudor cordage offer groin murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.
"Wail, wail, wail," set disc wicket woof, "evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut!
War or putty ladle gull goring, wizard ladle basking?"
"Armor goring tumor grain murders," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammars seeking bet." Armor ticking arson burden barter end shirker cockles."
"O hoe! Heifer blessing woke, setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court Tudor cordage offer groin murder, Oil ketchup wetter letter and den ... O bore!"
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, and whinny retched a cordage offer groin murder, picket inner winner and sore debtor pour oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh disc abdominal woof lipped honor betting adder rope! Zany pool dawn a groin murders nut cup an gnat gun, any curdle dope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, seat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing his verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bat rom end stud buyer groin murders bet.
"O Grammar," crater ladle gull, "War bag icer got! A nervous sausage bag ice." "Buttered luck chew wiff, doining," whisked dis ratchet woof, wetter wicket small.
"O Grammar, water bag noise. A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis."
"Buttered small you wiff," inserter woof, ants mouse worse waddling.
"O Grammar, water bag mousey gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"
Daze worry forger nut gull's lest warts. Oil offer sutten throne offer carvers end sprinkling otter bet, disc curl and bloat Thursday woof ceased pore ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garble erupt.
MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wit strainers!
PORE LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT!!
Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation......
Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....
Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'
means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we
bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy
singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome"
A row of bottles on my shelf
caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
and tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills,
helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!".
The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!".
The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!", shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!", shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!", said the man. With a "Hallelujah", he rode off very proud of his new purchase.
The man travelled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading towards a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop", said the man. "Halt!", he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no...'Bible!....Church!...Please Stop!!", shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer..."Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN".
The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.
"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
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Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
