Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday.
Some of you may be wondering what my parents look like. Wonder no more!
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/pastor-tims-parents
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "A Few Fishing Definitions"
HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to lure a fisherman to spend his life's savings on fishing supplies. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after she learns what he spent their life's savings on. (Usually accompanied by word "right" or "left.")
LINE - Something you give your coworkers when they ask how your fishing trip went.
LURE - An object that dangles from the end of your fishing line and is supposed to encourage fish to bite it. It is the fisherman's equivalent of sports cards, comic books, buttons, lint, and other things you collect that generally have no purpose.
REEL - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
ROD - An attractively-painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
TACKLE - What your last catch did to you right after you brought him into the boat and right before he jumped back overboard.
TACKLE BOX - A box shaped alarmingly like a good first aid kit, only a tackle box carries an extremely large number of sharp objects, so that when you reach in blindly to grab an adhesive bandage, you soon find that you will need more than one.
TEST - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity when trying to come up with yet another explanation for why you have come home once again empty-handed.
Today's CleanPun
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in the group?
Answer: Just look for the grey hares.
Today's One Liner
"Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work."
Today's CleanQuote
"A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt."
Today's Illustration - "The Deeds Undone"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
The tender words unspoken, the letter you did not write,
The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.
The stone you might have lifted, out of a dear friend's way,
The bit of heart-some counsel you were hurried too much to say:
The loving touch of a helping hand, the gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for, with troubles enough of your own.
These little acts of kindness, so easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels, which even mortals find.
They come in night and silence, each chill reproachful wraith,
When hope is faint and flagging, and a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, friend, and sorrow is all to great,
To suffer our slow compassion, that tarries until too late.
So, it's not the things you do, it's the deeds you leave undone,
Which gives you a bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun.
- Bertha A. Lawson
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 