At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight.
A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three pounds."
Here's another game from Jeff Wofford (www.jeffwofford.com). I really appreciate that he gave permission to share his flash games on the site here.
Many of us remember that classic home arcade game "Pong". Here's a neat variation that will keep your eyes moving. You won't find it on atari, x-box, or nintendo.
In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great 2000 Election Controversy is so big that a bunch of all-star poets have come out of retirement to quickly set the story to rhyme.
*For starters, history buff Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:*
Listen, my children, don't dare ignore, The midnight actions of Bush and Gore In early November, the year ought-ought, Hard to believe the mess they wrought. Two billion bucks of campaign bounty All came down to Palm Beach County. What result could have been horrider Than the situation we found in Florider?
*Edgar Allen Poe is his usual gloomy self:*
Once upon a campaign dreary, one which left us weak and weary O'er many a quaint and curious promise of political lore, While we nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping, As of some votes overlapping, energy-zapping to the core "'Tis a mess here," we all muttered, as the network anchors stuttered, Stuttered over Bush and Gore. Could there be another election with such a case of misdirection, One with such a weak selection, yet fraught with tension to the core? Quoth the ravers, "Nevermore."
*Britain's Edward Lear's limerick is lighter:*
There once was a U.S. election That called for some expert detection - How thousands of pollers Could become two-holers Like outhouses of recollection.
*Ditto Ogden Nash:*
I regret to admit that all my knowledge is what I learned at Electoral College, So tell me please, though I hate to troubya, Will the winner be Al, or will it be Dubya?
*Joyce Kilmer as a media analyst:*
I thought that I would never see The networks all so up a tree.
*Walt Whitman is lyrical, as always:*
O' Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip's not done The ship has weather'd every rack, but nobody knows who's won.
*Alfred Noyes rhythmically rumbles:*
And still of an autumn night they say, with the White House on the line, When the campaign's a ghostly galleon and both candidates cry, "'Tis mine!" When the road is a ribbon of ballots, all within easy reach, A highwayman comes riding, Riding, Riding, A highwayman comes riding, and punches two holes in each.
*Dr. Seuss takes a look at election officials:*
I cannot count them in a box I cannot count them with a fox I cannot count them by computer I will not with a Roto-Rooter I cannot count them card-by-card I will not 'cause it's way too hard I cannot count them on my fingers I will not while suspicion lingers. I'll leave the country in a jam - I can't count ballots, Sam-I-Am.
*Clement Moore adopts a holiday theme:*
'Twas the month before Christmas, when all through the courts, All the plaintiffs made stirring bad ballot reports. Which leaves the problem: Perhaps the best way to stop complaints that are raucous is start over again, with the Iowa caucus.
*Finally, I leave for you the most thought provoking of all:*
"It's not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes." --- Josef Stalin
"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife.
"Just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast."
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 