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Entertainment

One-liner #0839

"Life is too short to remove usb safely."usb flash_drive

Sneaking Into the Olympics

score tableThree guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first said, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walked up to the table and stated, "Angus MacLeod. Scotland. Shot-put." He opened his gym bag to display a shot-put to the registration attendant.

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

HOT DOG! The first guy grabbed a small tree sapling, stripped off the limbs and roots, walked up the registration table and stated, "Chuck Wagon. Canada.
Javelin."

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabbed a street utility manhole cover, walked up the registration table and stated, "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant said, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scampered in, but suddenly realized the third guy was missing. They groaned, "OH NO." He's a goober. They forgot to make sure he didn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

They then spotted him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walked up to the registration table and stated, "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

Just Wait

If you think my puns are bad... just wait 'til they're full groan.

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3855 - April 17, 2012


Issue #3855


Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  I think you will enjoy "Escalator Dog" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/escalator-dog

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Tim Robbed

hat in_the_coldOne night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.

Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned Tim to the ground.

When the thief went through Tim's pockets all he could find on Tim was 25 cents. He was so surprised at this he asked why Tim had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in my shoe!"

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0838

"Stop anthropomorphizing tools - they hate it."



Here is today's CleanPun

World Coveting Championship

World Coveting Championship: Looks likes this year's contest will come down to who wants it more.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1287

"Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes."
- Antisthenes


Here is today's Illustration

Sense of Humor

tree in_rainsA forestry-service employee was recording the rainfall in his area. One drizzly day, his thoughts were apparently elsewhere as he typed "thirty three inches" instead of "thirty-three hundredths of an inch" into the computer.

It was obvious that the machine had been programmed by someone with a sense of humor, for this message quickly appeared on the screen "Build the ark. Gather the animals two by two..."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

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The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3856 - April 17, 2012


Issue #3856


Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  I think you will enjoy "Escalator Dog" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/escalator-dog

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Sneaking Into the Olympics

score tableThree guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first said, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walked up to the table and stated, "Angus MacLeod. Scotland. Shot-put." He opened his gym bag to display a shot-put to the registration attendant.

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

HOT DOG! The first guy grabbed a small tree sapling, stripped off the limbs and roots, walked up the registration table and stated, "Chuck Wagon. Canada.
Javelin."

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabbed a street utility manhole cover, walked up the registration table and stated, "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant said, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scampered in, but suddenly realized the third guy was missing. They groaned, "OH NO." He's a goober. They forgot to make sure he didn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

They then spotted him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walked up to the registration table and stated, "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate

  • Unexpected Fishing Catch

  • House Rent Reduction


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0839

"Life is too short to remove usb safely."usb flash_drive



Here is today's CleanPun

Just Wait

If you think my puns are bad... just wait 'til they're full groan.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1288

"Fame due to the achievements of the mind never perishes.”
- Propertius


Here is today's Illustration

Integrity in Business

glassesAn optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer.

"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$75.'

If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $50.'

If his eyes still don't flutter, you add 'Each.'"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

  1. Escalator Dog
  2. One-liner #0838
  3. Tim Robbed
  4. World Coveting Championship

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4648
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4648

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4648

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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