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Entertainment

Tea For Two

teapotLittle Johnny was left to fix lunch.

When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea.

The two women then sipped their tea happily while having lunch.

"Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" Johnny's mother asked.

"I couldn't find it Ma, so I used the fly swatter," he replied.

His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added:

"Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!"

Compliments

thumbs-upFishing for Compliments: Standing in the kitchen next to the toaster with my glass raised. Nothing.

Sitting Frog

Kermit the frog may have sung "It's not easy being green," but this frog doesnt' seem to be having any problem with it.

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3861 - April 25, 2012


Issue #3861


Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  It's good news for those of you who have problems downloading YouTube videos.
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/the-youtube-collection

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Boot Lesson

bootsA teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on.

When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off then it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.

He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I tuffed them in the toes of my boots..."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0844

"Before they made him they broke the mold."



Here is today's CleanPun

Doing Nothing Today

nappingI don't feel like doing anything today.

I think I've got an enlarged procrastinate.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1293

school-house"No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern."
- Plato


Here is today's Illustration

Judge Gently

judge-gavelJudge Gently

Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
Or stumbles along the road
Unless you have worn the shoes that hurt
Or struggled beneath his load
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
Though hidden away from view
Or the burden he bears, placed on your back,
Might cause you to stumble, too.

Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
Unless you have felt the blow
That caused his fall, or felt the same
That only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, if dealt to you
In the self same way at the self same time,
Might cause you to stagger, too.

Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
Or pelt him with words or stones,
Unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
That you have no sins of your own.
For you know perhaps, if the tempters voice
Should whisper as soft to you
As it did to him when he went astray,
‘Twould cause you to falter, too.

- Author Unknown

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

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One-liner #0844

"Before they made him they broke the mold."

  1. Doing Nothing Today
  2. Boot Lesson
  3. The YouTube Collection
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3860 - April 22, 2012

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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