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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone - and welcome to Cybersalt Digest Issue #5000!
That's right, today's issue is the 5000th version of this newsletter, which was first sent out as Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh list back on September 28, 1998.
Whether you have been with me from the beginning (back when Grandma Cybersalt was just Mrs. Cybersalt) or you just subscribed last week, I want to thank you for blessing me by being a part of Cybersalt.
I have more exciting news to share with you today: I finally reached my zero inbox goal last evening. Five years ago I was visiting with my friend, Phil Taylor, when I noticed him go to his computer, respond to the 4 or 5 emails he had, and then walk away from his desk with ZERO emails in his inbox. I wanted that for me.
Five years later I am excited to share that I have finally reached a zero inbox for running my business. It was not easy getting here, especially due to the fact that for so much of my life I participated in self-sabotaging behaviour which (by design) held me back from achieving higher levels of success in some of my work and life - that is until I participated in Freedom Session, a 12 step program put on by my church over the fall and winter.
Through this program, Jesus revealed to me the childhood hurt that was the source of my self-sabotaging over the years. I am grateful for the changes in my life that have come (and continue to come) now that I free from an old way of interpreting my life and the events of it.
You can learn more about Freedom Session at https://freedomsession.com
Today's video share is fit right in with all this talk about a lot of time passing by. The "Queensland Pitch Drop Experiment" is the world's slowest scientific experiment. You can read about it at https://smp.uq.edu.au/pitch-drop-experiment and if you want to watch it live you can Click Here to Watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
Picard: But surely we must not be late!
Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker: Not me.
Worf: Not me.
Picard: Computer, how long til we die?
Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --
Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!
Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.
Picard: Then make it so!
THE END
One-Liner #1914
Being a baby must be scary; imagine sleeping at home and you wake up at Wal-Mart.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Dating Disaster
I once dated a girl that was actually a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
Quote #2349
"The paradise of the rich is made out of the hell of the poor."
- Victor Hugo
Value for Money
Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Dentist: $300
Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work? That's expensive.
Dentist: Okay. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I Didn’t Know I Loved it That Much
One important thing I have learned is that you don’t appreciate something until it’s missing. I’ve learned that by many things that I just took for granted.
Last week, for example, I had some problems with my truck, so I had to take it in for service. It took longer than expected, but that’s how life is.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
I once dated a girl that was actually a ghost.
Being a baby must be scary; imagine sleeping at home and you wake up at Wal-Mart.
The computer swallowed Grandpa
Fun fact: Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you.
I wrote a book on penguins.
"Procrastination is a dish best served eventually."
The U.S. Geological Survey has determined that the epicenter of the Virginia earthquake was in a graveyard just outside of Washington, D.C.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 