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I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid ...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

Cybersalt News

Today's newest Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site introduces us to the "Chair of the Math Department" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/chair-of-the-math-department 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

First Date

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."

"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.

"We hadn't started eating yet."

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1065

Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.

Today's Clean Pun

Unintended Pounds

I didn't mean to gain weight; it happened by snaccident.

Today's Quote

Quote #1513

"Instead of saying, 'This too shall pass.....' to a mom who is clearly losing it, maybe we could make her dinner, babysit her kids, or clean her house?"

Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent

*Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent*

1 THE GIFT OF LISTENING - But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2 THE GIFT OF AFFECTION - Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3 THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER - Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4 THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE - It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5 THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT - A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6 THE GIFT OF A FAVOR - Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7 THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE - There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8 THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION - The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone; really it's not that hard to say, "Hello" or "Thank You."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

I didn't mean to gain weight; it happened by snaccident.

Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.