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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4123 - June 2, 2016

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

You may have noticed that there have been no mailings yet this week. That is because for the next 5 weeks Mrs. Cybersalt and I have some major obligations and plans that are going to keep us from updating the Cybersalt Site and getting mailings out.

However, we have decided to continue to celebrate Chicken Thursdays with new mailings until we can resume daily posts some time around July 12th.

In the meantime you can still find thousands of pages to give you your Cybersal fix at www.cybersalt.org 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim


Today's CleanLaugh

The Violin

violinLittle Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Hope's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up and yelled above the noise, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"


Today's One-liner

One-liner #1066

ball basketDodgeball: America's twist on stoning.



Today's Clean Pun

Wordy Fossil

dinosaurA dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary: Athesaurus.


Today's Quote

Quote #1514

quote 1514

"I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter."

- William Carey



Today's Illustration

Hypocritical Leadership

Timothy Keller"Perhaps the greatest dilemma of the pastor - or any Christian leader - is the danger of hypocrisy.

By this I mean that, unlike other professionals, we as ministers are expected to proclaim God’s goodness and to provide encouragement at all times. We are always pointing people toward God in one way or another, in order to show them his worth and beauty. That’s the essence of our ministry.

But seldom will our hearts be in a condition to say such a thing with complete integrity, since our own hearts are often in need of encouragement, gospel centeredness, and genuine gladness.

Thus, we have two choices: either we have to guard our hearts continually in order to practice what we are preaching, or we live bifurcated lives of outward ministry and inward gloominess.

In this way, the ministry will make you a far better or a far worse Christian than you would have been otherwise. But it will not leave you where you were! And it will put enormous pressure on your integrity and character.

The key problem will be preaching the gospel while not believing the gospel. As ministers, we must be willing to admit that ministerial success often becomes the real basis for our joy and significance, much more so than the love and acceptance we have in Jesus Christ.

Ministry success often becomes what we look to in order to measure our worth to others and our confidence before God. In other words, we look to ministry success to be for us what only Christ can be.

All ministers who know themselves will be fighting this all their lives.

It is the reason for jealousy, for comparing ourselves to other ministers, for needing to control people and programs in the church, and for feeling defensive toward criticism.

At one level we believe the gospel that we are saved by grace not works, but at a deeper level we don’t believe it much at all. We are still trying to create our own righteousness through spiritual performance..."

- Timothy Keller

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

The Violin

violinLittle Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Hope's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up and yelled above the noise, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"

  • Parenting Jokes
  • Father Jokes
  • Father's Day Jokes
  • Music Jokes

Wordy Fossil

dinosaurA dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary: Athesaurus.

  • Class Puns
  • School Puns
  • Student Puns

One-liner #1066

ball basketDodgeball: America's twist on stoning.

  • School Jokes
  • Exercise One-liners
  • Sports Jokes
  • Sport One-liners

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4122 - May 29, 2016

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

chair of the math departmentSunday Greetings everyone.

Millions of Christians around the world are being persecuted for their faith in Jesus. Let's hear again Paul's words to the persecuted and also remember to pray for the - plus do what we can to aid them.  You'll find "Never Give Up" at:
www.agcrsi.org/blog/never-give-up 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim


Today's CleanLaugh

I'm Aging Gracefully

woman oldI'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid ...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care ...

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians ...

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy ... and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like ...

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies!

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory ...

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors: absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts ... I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to many more! You didn't, did you???????



The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

  1. I'm Aging Gracefully
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4121 - May 28, 2016
  3. Unintended Pounds
  4. One-liner #1065

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1991

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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