Thanks to Walter McLauren for today's CleanPun.

I saw this farmer standing beside the road holding a dead chicken.

I asked him what happened and he said, "It tried to cross in front of my truck, and now it's a poultrygeist."

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie; after a while it won't feel like you're alone anymore.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Rev. James Snyder was recently phoned by some computer scammers and he took it as an opportunity to have some fun.  You can read "How Did the Devil Get My Cell Phone Number?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/how-did-the-devil-get-my-cell-phone-number

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Houdini Wannabe

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked.

The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1137

You can't make everyone happy; you are not pizza.

Today's Clean Pun

Angles

Are you cold??

Go sit in the corner; it's 90 degrees!

... Isn't that acute joke?

Today's Quote

Quote #1585

"As followers of Christ we do not have the freedom to say anything we want, to blurt out whatever is on our mind."

- Tim Cameron

Directions to Our Father's House

*Directions to Our Father's House*

Make a Right onto "Believing Blvd."

Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.

From there, you must turn onto the "Bridge of Faith," which is over troubled water.

When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight. You are on the "King's Highway" - Heaven-bound.

Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost. Then exit off onto "Grace Blvd."

From there, make a Right turn on "Gospel Lane."

Keep Straight and then make another Right on "Prayer Road."

As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on "Temptation Ave." Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. Pass up "Envy Drive, " and "Hate Avenue."

Also, pass "Hypocrisy Street," "Gossiping Lane," and Backbiting Blvd."

However, you have to go down "Long-suffering Lane," "Persecution Blvd.," and "Trials and Tribulations Ave."

But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead! AMEN!!!!!

Send these directions to your friends so they will not get lost.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.