One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
It was a hurtful thing to say, and it ruined our bath.
On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
Woman: My mother gave birth to her youngest in a stairwell.
Man: Really? A brother?
Woman: No. She's actually my step-sister.
A mangy looking guy who goes into a restaurant and orders food. The waiter says, "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."
The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me the food?"
"Deal!" replies the waiter.
Sunday greetings everyone - 37d260!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are away at church camp this weekend. I am lining this mailing up on Friday to go out on Sunday so I hope we are having a good time! (I think the odds of that being true are more than the odds of today's issue #)
Today's video share comes with a question: "What would you do if you found a "medieval" artifacts in a thrift store?
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:
at 45 mph.... "God Will Take Care of Me"
at 55 mph.... "Guide me, O Great Jehovah"
at 65 mph.... "Nearer My God to Thee"
at 75 mph.... "Nearer Still Nearer"
at 85 mph.... "This World is Not My Home"
at 95 mph.... "Lord, I'm Coming Home"
at 100 mph.... "Precious Memories"
My wife gave me an envelope marked, "Not to be opened until 2026" ... Inside was a list of reasons why I can't be trusted to carry out simple instructions.
I crossed a four leaf clover with poison ivy and got a rash of good luck.
I was just itching to tell someone.
"Wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep."
- Unknown
She came tonight as I sat alone..
The girl I used to be....
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.
So gently rising, I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robes is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl I used to be.
- Author unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were finishing our supper. If anyone can put together a marvelous supper, it is she. If anybody can eat a marvelous supper, it is me.
As we were finishing, she looked over at me and said, "My dear, do you know what we will be celebrating next week?"
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
