Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
When it comes to "discussions" with his wife, Rev. James Snyder wishes time was on his side. You can read "Is Time a Friend or an Enemy?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/is-time-a-friend-or-an-enemy
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Who Am I?
Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's children's chapel on Sundays before the eleven o'clock service.
One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the minister came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I'd speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm.
But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the minister burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all.
He told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.
He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance.
Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?" He was pretty obviously indicating himself.
A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, " Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd."
The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, "Well, then, who am I?"
The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, "I guess you must be a sheep dog."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1358
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
Today's Clean Pun
Diet Interview
Conflict Resolution:
Always ask angry vegans what their beef is.
Today's Quote
Quote #1800
"Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love."
- Tim Keller
Today's Illustration
X-Ray Innocence
A young girl of 4 was told she needed an X-ray after an accident. Her mother tried to calm her down, but she was still nervous when the time came for the X-Ray. When she came out of the X-ray room, however, she seemed relaxed and just fine.
"They took a picture of my bones," she told her mother.
"Yes, dear," replied the mother. "Did everything go all right?"
"Yeah," said the girl. "It was great! I didn't even have to take my skin off, or anything!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Hush-A-Bye Buddy
I have a twin brother - he's identical, but I am not.
So, you bought a deck of giant novelty playing cards. Big deal!
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 