A male crab met a female crab at a party and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.
Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So, they got married immediately.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups.
4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
E Pluribus Modem
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
My software never has bugs. It just develops undocumented features.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
Happiness is a competitive advantage.
Marriage is grand ... Divorce is about ten grand.
Sunday greetings everyone!
Last weekend I was one of the speakers in a 24-Hour online event which was put on to replacement a conference planned for Portugal, but cancelled due to the pandemic. My topic was "How to Help People Who Need Help with Joomla", the software that was the focus of the conference.
However, the principles and philosophies I spoke of apply to helping people in many different contexts. So I thought I would share that video with you this week.
Rev. James Snyder has gotten more comfortable with his pajamas than some other people. You can read "Casual Is Not Always Appropriate" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/casual-is-not-always-appropriate
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up.
"Did anyone drop a toonie?" he asked.
"I did," answered three men at once.
"Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it."
This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19;
I usually don't go because I'm poor.
Never use wet wood in your fireplace.
You should always let weeping logs dry.
"Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say."
- Andy Stanley
This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie.
I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout camp trip, I decided I would pamper Michael a bit and get it for him.
When he was half done, I realized he hadn't even had breakfast yet!
I said "Michael, you need to take care of your body, and breakfast is included in that taking care of it. Your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit."
After a very short pause, he replied: "But Mom, the Holy Spirit wasn't hungry this morning."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
