The first five florists I called from the phone book knew nothing about carpet or tile. And suddenly, I'm the idiot!
A long time ago, I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the IT staff.
One day, my new supervisor entered the room and stared at the air conditioning unit directly behind me. He studied the two flashing lights for a few moments and asked what job it was currently processing.
I killed my career by replying, "Actually, sir, it's cooling the room. The computer is over there."
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts and then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
Issue #4553
Sunday greetings everyone!
I don't know about you, but I'm quite excited and happy about how "modern" the latest vehicle taking us into space looks. This is definitely not your grandfather's spacecraft - unless of course one of my grandkids is reading this, lol.
Enjoy the tour!
As Rev. James Snyder considers growing a pandemic beard he is not sure if his wife is going to let that happen. You can read "Not Everything Is As It Seems" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/not-everything-is-as-it-seems
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"
"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
“I spent a lot of cash in France," Tom said frankly. "And also in Germany," he added markedly.
"In Italy, I used my charge card a lot," Tom commented deliriously.
"On my way home again, I exchanged all my English money" Tom expounded.
The most attractive quality a person can have is to love Jesus. Makeup washes off. Looks fade. A heart for God echoes into eternity.
- unknown
Today's Illustration
I had always prided myself on being an "on time" person. One morning I overslept and rushed around getting ready for Sunday school. As I ran out the door, my husband tried to say something.
"What?" I called back. "Don't slow me down. I'm late."
"No you're not," he responded. "It's Saturday."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
