***Here's another good one to just delete before reading if you can't laugh at yourself.***
*Deciphering Baptist Church Names*
First Baptist: It has been there too long.
Second Baptist: The people didn't like First Baptist.
Third Baptist: The people didn't like First and Second Baptist.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster.
"Get the owner's manual!" my daughter's husband shouted.
"I can't find it anywhere!" cried my daughter a short time later.
"Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual's burned to a crisp."
Maury and his wife showed up to a very popular restaurant, but it was very crowded. Mrs. Maury went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?"
The hostess appeared to ignore her and kept writing in her book. So she asked again, "How much of a wait?"
The hostess then looked up and said, "About ten minutes."
A short time later they heard an announcement over the loudspeaker, "Willete B. Long, your table is ready."
Issue #4539
Resurrection Sunday greetings everyone: the Lord is risen!
This pandemic has reminded us how we are incapable of hanging on to even the most precious of people in our lives, let alone the very vainest of things such as sports, entertainment, success, fame, etc. If a virus from an unsanitary market in a faraway land can take it away from you, it doesn't' deserve the devotion of your live. The resurrection of Jesus reminds us that He alone is worthy of that.
When the plates in your life are all falling down, remember that Jesus love you and is calling you into His loving arms.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
*Sunday School Lesson #1*
A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday.
One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there."
*Sunday School Lesson #2*
The same Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
Jenny, a thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd vomit!"
If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil ...
I cannot believe it. I just called the police to report my neighbor trying to attach a jet engine to a deer.
People will do anything to make a quick buck!
“Why are you looking for the Living One in a cemetery? He is not here, but raised up. Remember how he told you when you were still back in Galilee that he had to be handed over to sinners, be killed on a cross, and in three days rise up?” Then they remembered Jesus’ words.
- Luke
Today's Illustration
Dear God,
First, my car broke down
I was very late for work
But I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?
I found a house I loved
But others got there first
I was angry, then relieved
When I heard the pipes had burst!
Yesterday, I found the perfect dress
But the color was too pale
Today, I found the dress in red
Would you believe, it was on sale!
I know you're watching over me
And I'm feeling truly blessed
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what's best!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
