True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
- K. Vonnegut
California smog test: Can UCLA?
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half."
"Just bring me a size eight."
The sales guy brings them and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands up in obvious pain. He turns to the salesman and says, "I've lost my house to the I.R.S., I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my best friend, and my business has filed Chapter 7."
"The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off."
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
The exciting news today is that there really isn't any exciting news to share with you today. Grandma Cybersalt and I have comfortably answered September's invitation to return to the routines that summertime chased away. It's one way that vacations help "old" things to become new again (re-newed!)
Today's video share is part of a series put out by Ancestry - the family tree site. As a person who likes people watching (in compliance with the many restraining orders against me, of course), I really enjoy seeing the moment when someone is relieved by realizing something they never new or understood.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting line-up.
The coach asks, "What did you bring that horse here for?"
The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."
All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat, and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse.
The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate, when astonishingly the horse hits the ball deep in the outfield.
The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base.
The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"
I always say "Thank you" to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I'm nice.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.
I am a child of God.
I am not what I wear, what I drive, or how much I weigh.
- Unknown
Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.
Some people try to turn back their odometers ... not me ... I want people to know why I look like this. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads were NOT paved.
Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you're getting old when everything either dries up or starts to leak.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I must confess I sometimes get so busy that certain things have slipped my mind. I don't do this intentionally, but I try to prioritize things in my life.
With so many things going on, it is tough to keep up-to-date with everything, even personal items.
This is not true with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. No matter how busy her day is, she always keeps up with everything. She knows things that are happening a week before they actually happen. How she does that, I don't know, and trust me, I am not going to inquire.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I always say "Thank you" to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I'm nice.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
