After Old Man McGraw chewed us out, we went over to his house and we drew all kinds of pictures on his driveway, sidewalk, and foundation with sidewalk chalk.
That'll teach him to mess with the Mural Majority!
~John Gardner
How to be politically correct when you comment about women...
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and a rare one at that because today is my birthday.
My birthday has not fallen on a Chicken Thursday since 2010 and will not again until 2027! How old am I? Let's just say I was born on a Thursday in 1965. BTW, did you know that in parts of Ghana everyone gets a name based on the day they were born? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghanaian_name
Since I'm not getting any younger I had better share the rest of the fun submissions that were spawned by the "tews" problem.
Rev. L. Clemmons shared, "To make sure I understand what you reported about the to, too, two, and tew, I offer the following as a grammatical rule: "If you misuse to, too, and two, it will be necessary to tew you until you use them correctly."
He is also concerned about the misuse of your, you're and there, their and they're as well and asks, "Can we apply the tew to these misused words as well until people learn how to use them? If so, this is an archaic solution for modern grammar that grants me a new use for my BA in English with a minor in Linguistics. I will need to hone my nonexistent pugilistic skills to properly apply tew.
His comments made me wonder if my grammatical errors make me the proverbial canary in the coal mine for English minors around the world!
M. Howard wrote, "Hi - and thanks from across the pond for a gently entertaining regular look at your world! Just thought in the light of your comments around "to, too, two", you'd appreciate me sharing this: "How do you soothe a grammar pendant? "There, their, they're."
J. Pierce proclaimed, "Some prefer to vociferate exclusively in polysyllabic pronouncements of imposing grandeur and resplendent vocabulary.
And finally, HGK555 (which is either his email username or else he is the love child of a romantic encounter between Yahtzee and Boggle games) shared this very good grammatical rule to remember: "i before e, except after c and when your foreign neighbors Keith and Heidi seize their eight counterfeit heifer sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters of average height in a heist. Weird!"
Today's video share is a satisyfing look at a fascinating method of levelling sunken concrete.
Click here to watch it.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing, which is an abbreviated one because Grandma Cybersalt and I have been burning the candle at both ends this week, helping our son install some new flooring here at Cybersalt Word Headquarters.
~ Pastor Tim
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone.
The fire on the cargo ship off the coast of Cybersalt World Headquarters is out. All that is left is for the salvage company to collect all the fridges and other cargo that is floating up the west coast of our island. There are over 100 containers still missing.
Speaking of Cybersalt World Headquarters, someone shared on Facebook a picture they took today as they flew over the new housing development that is next door to us. I've marked CWH with an arrow. If you happen to be parachuting in the area, feel free to drop in - keeping in mind you are liable for any roof damage you may cause!
Today's video share is a French video, but you don't need to speak French to enjoy it!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion.
The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."
The Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"
The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
The Texas lady replied "My husband sent me to charm school."
"Charm school!", the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"
The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying, 'Who gives a care' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I walked into a coffee shop to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
- Khalil Gibran
Old man Fielding, the miser, at last went to his reward and presented himself at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter greeted him with appropriate solemnity and escorted him to his new abode.
Walking past numerous elegant mansions finally they arrived at a dilapidated shack at the end of the street.
Fielding, much taken aback, began, "Why am I left with a rundown shack when all of these others have fine mansions?"
"Well, sir," replied St. Peter, "we did the best we could with the money you sent us."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When young, I remember my grandfather often saying to me, "the world wasn't like this when I was your age." Then he would go on a long rant about how things were much different when he was my age. Finally, he would conclude by saying, "It's an insane world out there, son."
I can't remember all he said, but one thing was when he was young, people were rather sane and the things they did. He explained it to me to the best of his ability, and I listen to the best of my ability. But then, sane to one person can be insanity to another.
Recently, I caught myself saying the same things to one of my grandchildren, and then it dawned on me, "Have I become my grandfather?"
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
