My wife told me I was immature this morning; so I told her to get out of my fort!
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.
As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.
"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer.
"That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
When I was young, my family was really poor. Everything I wore - socks, blouses, even handkerchiefs - had been darned over and over by my mother.
I wasn't the smartest or the prettiest, but I sure was the best darned kid in the neighborhood!
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
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Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
It's an exciting day at Cybersalt World Headquarters. I have a dentist appointment this morning, but that's not why. I also have a chiropractic appointment in the afternoon, but that's also not why. Grandma Cybersalt's new glasses are ready for pickup, but that is still not why. (Lol, doesn't it sounds like we're falling apart?)
No, after all that cleaning, cracking and "bespectacling", we will be heading to the airport to meet a refugee family who are coming to our community 3 years after the sponsorship process began and 8 years after they fled from Pakistan for their lives. I sometimes shed tears when someone is at the airport leaving, but I this might be a time when it happens because someone is arriving! I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Today's video share is part of a standup routine by Tim Hawkins. It had me laughing out loud as I was working a few days ago, so I hope it has the same effect on you.
Click here to watch the video.
~ Pastor Tim
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half."
"Just bring me a size eight."
The sales guy brings them and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands up in obvious pain. He turns to the salesman and says, "I've lost my house to the I.R.S., I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my best friend, and my business has filed Chapter 7."
"The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off."
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
- K. Vonnegut
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
California smog test: Can UCLA?
"A man who was merely a man and said the kind of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse."
- C. S. Lewis
My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically.
I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will.
He said, "Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
