Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break.
"We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied.
"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio."
After a close friend moved away, we began to communicate by computer. We met each week in her favorite chat room and would type for hours.
One night, I had a high fever and swollen larynx and felt too sick to chat, so I dashed off a brief note canceling our cyber-plans, then fell exhausted into bed.
My friend seemed upset when I phoned her a few days later. "If you don't want to go on the 'Net with me," she said, "just say so."
Perplexed, I retrieved the last e-mail I'd sent her. It read, "I won't be able to talk to you on the computer tonight. I have laryngitis."
Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who take the time to label carefully boxes they pack for us.
The accuracy of labels can make a huge difference when we try to find something right away.
My favorite was done by one guy who attached this sticker to a box - obviously not knowing how to spell the best one word description: "Animals you hit with a stick at a Mexican party."
You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
* You carry an umbrella.
* You watch the Weather Channel.
* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
* You're the one calling the police because those rascal kids next door don't turn down the stereo.
* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
* MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Ho's.
* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game.
I guess they eat so much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said,
"Boy, it sure would be nice in pizzas lived in the woods."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
