Entertainment

One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of his car.

So the trooper decided to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So he pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver.

The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some."

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.  The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.  "Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Alex's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, the 9:00 or the 10:30 service?"

While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning items that obviously had been worn. One rainy morning I walked in and found a discolored blazer hanging on the rack with other returns.

"People return the most filthy, nasty things," I commented to my supervisor who was standing nearby.

Eyebrow raised, she said, "That's my jacket."

Do you realize that the only time in our lives
when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
How old are you?.... "I'm four and a half "....
You're never 36 and a half....you're four and a half going on five!

That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number.
How old are you?
"I'm gonna be 16."
You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16.

And then the greatest day of your life happens....
you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony....
you BECOME 21...YES!!!

But then you turn 30....ooohhh what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk....
He TURNED, we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now.

What's wrong?? What changed??
You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30,
then you're PUSHING 40.....
stay over there, it's all slipping away........

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40,
you REACH 50.....and your dreams are gone.

Then you MAKE IT to 60.....you didn't think you'd make it!!!!

So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40,
you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60......
then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it's a day by day thing.
After that, you HIT Wednesday....
You get into your 80's, you HIT lunch.
You TURN 4:30,
my grandmother won't even buy green bananas...
it's an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.

And it doesn't end there....
into the 90's you start going backwards....
I was JUST 92...

Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100,
you become a little kid again....
"I'm 100 and a half!!!!"