The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
but don't forget the 4th stage....
He LOOKS like Santa Claus.
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, I'm so glad you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.
First the explanation behind it. A list member, who recently asked for instructions on how to manage her Cybersalt list subscriptions recently sent me this very humorous response to the length of the instructions I sent here. Please understand that due to the size of some of my lists, I just don't have time to personally manage everyone's e-mail changes. For the most part, the detailed instructions I send out to help people change their subscriptions themselves are very effective. You just have to read them which I know isn't why some people get e-mail (oddly enough).
Here is the note she sent me:
Pastor Tim:
Do you realize what it is like to be 62 years old & computer challenged & get a message like this one??????
By the time I read all this, I could have gone on to meet the Lord, you realize that don't you????????
LOL........I mean I am in the checkout lane now, dear boy.........I laughed & laughed reading all this.
I know you didn't mean it to be funny but to me it was.........Talk about Bill Gates not making anything easy for us? Did you teach him? Are you his pastor?
I don't need a Clean Laugh of the Day for today, this message was it!!!!!!
ROFLOL........
From (Name Protected) in Kansas
Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)
------------------------------
Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring.... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring...Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring...Ring...
Automated Answer:
"Thank you for calling Technical Support.
"All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician."
"The waiting time is now estimated at between 15 minutes and eternity. In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit alpha-numeric product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, it is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind."
"Do that now."
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
The Goober thought for a time and then asked, "Is it turned on or off?"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
