Entertainment

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt.  When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir.  I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get out of this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep.  So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business deal there and it is very important for me.  Here you have 100 francs for the favor.  But I warn you to know sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matter what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim.  Is that clear?"

So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs.

Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt.  He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at him.  "Are you STUPID or something???  I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim.  And you didn't I want my money back ."

While the man was yelling at the ticket guy, two other guys who were also in the train were looking at them.  One turned to the other and said, "Look at this guy he is mad!"

Guy 2 replied, "Yeah, almost as mad as the guy they made get out of the train in Mannheim."

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home. When he returned, the minister asked his wife what she thought of the young man's sermon.

"The poorest I've ever heard," she said. "There was nothing in it, nothing at all. It didn't even make sense. It was very unorganized. I was disappointed."

Later that day, the concerned minister met his assistant and asked him, "How'd the Sunday service and sermon go? Did all go well? How did you manage?"

"All went very well, sir, absolutely wonderful," he said. "I didn't have time to prepare a new sermon of my own on such short notice, so I got on your computer and pulled up one of your old sermon's from last year."

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

• Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
• Remove blocks and toy cars from table.
• Grease pan, crack nuts.
• Measure two cups flour.
• Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
• Remeasure flour.
• Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
• Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
• Get another bowl.
• Answer doorbell.
• Return to kitchen.
• Remove baby's hands from bowl.
• Wash baby.
• Answer phone.
• Return.
• Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan.
• Look for baby.
• Grease another pan.
• Answer telephone.
• Return to kitchen and find baby.
• Remove baby's hands from bowl.
• Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
• Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
• Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
• Call baker.
• Lie down.

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:

https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

A man walks into a glass shop, interested in buying an expensive art piece to keep as a family heirloom. One gorgeous glass art piece catches his eye under the banner "Unbreakable." However, it has no price marked.

"Pardon me," he says to the shopkeeper, "but what is the price on this piece marked "unbreakable"?

"One hundred thousand dollars." replies the storekeeper.

Gasping for his next breath, he inquired why the price should be so high.

"Like the sign says, it's unbreakable!" To be sure, the man asked again if this item was indeed unbreakable. The owner again assured him it was so. The third time the man asked, the keeper was a bit terse and told him to buy the piece and see for himself that it would not break.

The man greatly admired the piece, and so he paid the $100,000 and took it home, where it was put on display in a protective case. He had an occasion to visit the glass shop again the next month and told the storekeeper how much care he had taken to protect and preserve the beautiful piece. As he looks around, he sees one of the pieces he'd seen the month before, which was only $500, now sitting under the "Unbreakable" banner.

"Excuse me, but how can that piece be unbreakable, too - it only costs $500, and last month was in the display cabinet mixed together with these other pieces!"

"No, it's one hundred thousand dollars - it's unbreakable, now, too." the storekeeper replied.

"How can you be so sure?" he demands.

"Because the goober who pays 100 grand for that thing is going to be as careful with it as you are with yours."