Entertainment

Details

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating
systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.

For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry. The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer to
a simple stone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred.
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Details

George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and Testament.

"To my dear wife Mary, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. To my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."

Details

"Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here."

"Read it to me," the captain ordered.

The sailor read, "You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame- brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy."

The skipper responded, "Have that communication decoded at once!"

Details

New Axioms of the Nineties

1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
9. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Virtual reality is its own reward.
18. Modulation in all things.
19. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
20. Know what to expect before you connect.
21. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
22. Speed thrills.

Details

We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but he is self-conscious about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell people that by the time she graduates from high school, he'll be in a nursing home.

One day she asked, "Mom, you know how Dad always says he'll be in a home when I graduate?"

I nodded, expecting some sad question about mortality.

She continued, "Can I have the car then?"

  1. Carjacking Foiled
  2. Four Little Words
  3. Dayvorce
  4. Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

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