Entertainment

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up, so they can get under way.  The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.  Both appear to be blind.  The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog.  Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.

At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke.  However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway.  The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking.  Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!"

The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.

He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill. Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to the other ant and said, "If we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball."

One year, at Western, there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A.  These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go over to Toronto and party with some friends there during the Vanier Cup weekend.
So they did this and had a great time. 

However, with their partying and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Western until early Monday morning.  Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find their Professor after the final and explain to him why they missed the final.  They told him that they went up to Toronto for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.

The Professor thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day.  The two guys were elated and relieved.  So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that the Prof had told them.  He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.  They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points.  "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.  They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. 

It said:
(95 points) Which tire?

- Don A.  Wicks, Instructor Graduate School of Library & Information Science Elborn College, University of Western Ontario

Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!