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Entertainment

Healthy Life

Details
Published: 07 December 2004

In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health.

One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject.  "Look at me!" he said.  "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food.  Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life----no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances.  Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning.  I worked from eight to one, then had dinner--a plain dinner, mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then--"

"Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in jail for?"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Virus Warning!

Details
Published: 05 December 2004

WARNING!  WARNING!  WARNING!

IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!!  It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY!

The "gift" is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall.  It tends to show up outside the city gates and appears to be abandoned.  DO NOT let it through the gates!  It contains hardware that is incompatible with Trojan programming, including a crowd of heavily armed Greek warriors that will destroy your army, sack your town, and kill your women and children.  If you have already received such a gift, DO NOT OPEN IT!  Take it back out of the city unopened and set fire to it by the beach.

FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Bungee Jumping

Details
Published: 04 December 2004

Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.  They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.  By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.

Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.

John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.  Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.  John came down again and sprang back up.  This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.  The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.

Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.

John replied, "I'm not sure.  Do you know what 'pinata' means?"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Things Moms Would Never Say

Details
Published: 03 December 2004

~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

~ "Just leave all the lights on .  .  .  it makes the house look more cheery"

~ "Let me smell that shirt.  Yeah, it's good for another week"

~ "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey.  I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"

~ "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."

~ "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.  It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

~ "I don't have a tissue with me .  .  .  just use your sleeve"

~ "Don't bother wearing a jacket.  The wind chill is bound to improve"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Employee Reviews

Details
Published: 01 December 2004

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. The Magician and The Parrot
  2. Hiring Slogans
  3. Vampire Bat
  4. Jar Number 47

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3612

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2181
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2181

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  542

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1890

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2181

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1947

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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