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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241."

"That is wonderful!," says Albert.  "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe.  We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" To which the lady answers, "144."

"That is great!," responds Albert.  "We can discuss politics and current affairs.  We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51."

Albert responds, "How 'bout them Cowboys?"

An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was.

All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk.

The math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape, and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building.

Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for other courses' exams. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied: "Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for supper!"

A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink.  The bartender says "You know, we have a drink named after you?

The grasshopper replies, "Really!  You have a drink named Eddie?"

I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history.

After he finished all seventeen pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."