Entertainment

Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware of Dog" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting.  As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside.  Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.

That was the good news.  The bad news was the ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.

"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt.  Please forgive me and grant me just one wish:
Please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me.  Please, Lord!"

That very instant the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet:

Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive...."

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced an infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had already been bitten.

So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that the post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a snake present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was justifiable.

The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe box on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very live, rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a short note. The note said, "I missed!"

Some of these are a little odd but they would definitely spice up dorm life.

16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate:
****************************************************

1.  Sit up.  Say, "time to make the donuts." Leave.  Do this often.

2.  Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out, close the door and look relieved.

3.  Express an extreme fear of sunlight.  Move away from and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny.

4.  Pick up the phone every five minutes and say, "Hello." Look confused and hang up.

5.  Unwrap a candy bar.  Eat the wrapper and throw the chocolate away.

6.  When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune.

7.  Address your roommate by a different name every time you talk to him or her

8.  Constantly drink from an empty glass.

9.  Every time you handle something of your roommate's, use a tissue or gloves.

10.  While unlocking your door with the key, complain that the engine won't start.

11.  Name your animal crackers.  Mourn for them after you eat them.

12.  Get a pet rabbit.  At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches.  If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.

13.  Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket.

14.  Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's pictures. Complain that they were staring at you.

15.  Everytime your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake him or her up and say, "it's time to go to bed now."