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During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.

He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.

When the service was over, he went to greet people at the front door. Three different adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.  He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.  He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand.  The pastor asked her to come to the front.  Slowly she made her way to the pastor.  He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.

Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

My mom, a difficult independent, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons.

One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company.  Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy.  She sat there without being noticed by anyone in our rich suburban neighbourhood.  Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on my mom's parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.

Then my mother said in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, I can't throw that far!"