Entertainment

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home.

When he returned, the minister asked his wife what she thought of the young man's sermon.

"The poorest I've ever heard," she said. "There was nothing in it, nothing at all. It didn't even make sense. It was very unorganized. I was disappointed."

Later that day, the concerned minister met his assistant and asked him, "How'd the Sunday service and sermon go? Did all go well? How did you manage?"

"All went very well, sir, absolutely wonderful," he said. "I didn't have time to prepare a new sermon of my own on such short notice, so I got on your computer and pulled up one of your old sermon's from last year."

Martha Stewart's recipe for chicken casserole is to boil the chicken in water and to then Dump the Stock.

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh Look Chicken Thursday - and happy 25th anniversary to the Cybersalt Digest!

That's right, today is the 15th anniversary of the sending out my first newsletter. That first edition went on September 28, 1998 through an email list I created and named "Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh List."

At that time the list was managed through onelist.com, which eventually was bought by YahooGroups. In time, I was unhappy with the lack of control I had over the type of ads that YahooGroups was inserting in my email, so I learned how to host and send out the newsletter on my own.

There is much more history and stories to tell you about how that first newsletter grew into the ministry and business that Cybersalt is today. Unfortunately my plan to put that all together has suffered from a surplus of good intentions and a deficit of time to do so. But, for now, let is suffice to say that I am grateful and thankful to Jesus for the huge blessing all things Cybersalt have been in my life, and for wonderful blessing you all have been as part of Cybersalt! Grandma Cybersalt and I appreciate every one of you!

If you would like to read the first joke sent out on that day, here is the link:
www.cybersalt.org/clean-jokes/brave-firefighters 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.  He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson).

Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson (JJohnson) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.

When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."

(How to politely tell someone they are not very bright.)

Wisdom has always been chasing you, but you have always been faster.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

A boating magazine ran a contest for clever boat names. The following names reeled in the honors:

Brace Yourself (owned by an orthodontist)

Sir Osis of the River

Aqua Seltzer

Out to Launch

Watertight Alibi (owned by a lawyer)

Meals on Reels

The Merri Yot

and, from a landscape contractor, Yard Buoy.

"Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference."

- Max Lucado

Whatever you dwell upon in your mind, you give power to. So of course it makes sense to focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. Yet there are many ways in which the things you don't want can sneak into your thinking.

Worry and doubt focus your thinking on what you don't want. Rather than worrying about the bad things that might happen, direct your actions toward making positive things happen.

Complaining can also get your mind sidetracked into thinking about what you don't want. What do you complain about? The things you don't like. Rather than complaining, take action. Action moves you toward what you do want.

Anger is one more way to get your thinking negatively directed. Rather than getting angry about what you don't like, use that energy to give you determination for what you want to achieve.

Keep your mind positively focused on the good things that life can offer. Those things will grow stronger and more abundant in your world.

- Author Unknown

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
- Philippians 4:8

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.