"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM

Cybersalt News

A belated happy birthday to Rev. James Snyder who turned 60 on Saturday. You can read his reflections on that in "Farewell to the Fifties" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/god-s-penman/farewell-to-the-fifties

Many of you are trapped in the middle of a huge heat wave. Others of you are in the grips of winter. Whether you are hot or cold or in-between (ptuey) enjoy today's "Blizzard Trap" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/blizzard-trap

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Did You See That?"

Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?"

"No," Darryl replies.

"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead."

"Oh," responded Darryl.

A couple of minutes later, Tom said, "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

"Oh."

A few minutes later Tom again said, "Did you see that?"

By now, Darryl is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

And Tom says, "Then why did you step in it?"

Today's CleanPun

Did you hear about the self help group for compulsive talkers?
It's called On & On Anon.

Today's One Liner

"I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching and that really freaks me out, you know?"

Today's CleanQuote

"Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place."

Today's Illustration - "In a Perfect World"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

A person would feel as good at 50 as he did at 17 and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17.

You could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant.

Forget-me-nots would stimulate the memory.

Doing what was good for you would be what you enjoyed doing the most.

Pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars.

People would always see good reasons to be optimistic.

You would never fumble, but if you did, you would recover the ball yourself.

The mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.

Potato chips might have calories, but if you ate them with a dip, the calories would be neutralized.

If the guy from the government said to you, "I'm here to help," not only would he mean it, but also he'd do it.

First impressions wouldn't count for nearly as much as ultimate performance. Winning might be a nice thing, but that would be about all.

All people could expect to be accepted.

Every once in a while at least, a kid who always closed the door softly would be told, "Go back and slam the door."

Highway patrolmen would never be around when you're running late, but would always be at your side when a BMW blows past or a Mac truck won't get off your bumper.

The better food tasted, the less calories it would have.

Warranties would be for 13 months and products would fail at 12.

More would be accomplished by governments when they spent more.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?"

"No," Darryl replies.

"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead."

"Oh," responded Darryl.

A couple of minutes later, Tom said, "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

"Oh."

A few minutes later Tom again said, "Did you see that?"

By now, Darryl is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

And Tom says, "Then why did you step in it?"

With local highways and roads closed by the blizzard, Sheriff Jake had to get creative in setting up speed traps.