Here are some pretty hip (some of them replaced I am sure) seniors doing a great lip-dub of Michael Buble's song "Feeling Good."
English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than rules. It's no wonder there are so many blunders. We hope this creative copy from travel and dining brochures from around the world will put a smile on your face.
Italian hotel brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Polish tourist brochure:
As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.
Swiss menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Spanish hotel ad:
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to visitors' comfort.
Athens hotel:
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
On the menu:
Bowels in sauce. (Tripe!)
Chopped up cow with wire through it. (Shish-kebob)
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Teppan Yaki, Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Paris Dress Shop:
Dresses for street walking.
Now that the Cybersalt Site has undergone it's major migration/upgrade, I can now move on to begin to re-introduce old areas of the site and roll out new features.
For instance, the Cybersalt Community Forum is up and running again. The forum is now also doing double duty as the comment system. So if you want to comment on a joke, devotional, or some other material on the site, you can now do so in the comment area below each article. When you do that it will automatically create a discussion in the Cybersalt Community Forum where others can join in.
To use the above features you will need to be logged into the Cybersalt Site. Registering a profile is free and if you already have a Facebook or Twitter account you don't even have to fill in any fields. Just click the appropriate "Sign In" button in the lower right hand columns of the site and you'll be on your way.
I hope you will check out and try these new features. Just e-mail if you experience any bumps along the way so I can fine tune the set-up.
Finally, I hope you enjoy today's featured page - "Lion Cut"
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-line-cut-or-lion-cut
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport.
He was told he'd need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered. When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful.
"In lieu of a birth certificate," the agent said, "you can bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you."
A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but called "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," her father asked her, "why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That's easy," she replied. "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
"The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow."
"There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
WHEN my best friend, James, came home on his first Army leave, my little brother asked him what he did in the service. "I do calisthenics, shoot guns and follow orders," James replied.
Walking in town that day, James and I ran into a buddy who also asked him what he did in the Army. James gave the same reply: "I do calisthenics, shoot guns and follow orders."
A while later, we met a former classmate, an attractive woman, and she asked the same question. This time, James said, "I'm studying communications, learning foreign languages and traveling around the world."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport.
He was told he'd need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered. When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful.
"In lieu of a birth certificate," the agent said, "you can bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you."
I am happy to report that the Cybersalt Site migration to updated software has reached the point to where the new site is now live. If you notice any problems with it, please don't hesitate to send me a note. Undoubtedly there will be little things that pop-up here and there. BTW, "the jokes aren't funny enough" is not something I can fix.
To get back in the swing of things, there is a newly updated funny picture on the site. You'll find "Baby Pots" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/baby-pots
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
New Englanders are known for their dry wit and logic.
Once in Martha's Vineyard a hotel clerk asked me if I wanted a room with a shower or a tub. I asked what the difference was.
He replied, "Well sir, in a tub, you can sit down."
My doctor e-mailed me asking if I knew my "blod group". I replied, "typo."
"Do the right thing because one cookie would just be afraid by itself in the dark, right?"
"All generalizations are false."
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child's words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized why his words had made no sense: He was repeating the alphabet.
"Why are you saying your ABC's so many times?" I asked him.
The child replied, "I'm saying my prayers."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet."
Patiently the child explained, "Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I'm trying to say."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
