Entertainment

A young family, feeling cramped in their small apartment, went shopping for a house. The parents looked at houses for a month before deciding on a two-story house in the country.

While driving to their new home, the mom was telling the children about the house; it was a big two-story house with lots of room. She told them about the big back yard with a swing-set; the playroom, big enough for all their toys; and each child would finally have a room of their own.

On their first night in their new home, the parents got the kids to bed later than usual, so they said they could only read one story.

The 4-year-old piped up, "No, this is a two story house!"

DENTIST: Crown Him with many crowns

CONTRACTORS: The church's one foundation

OBSTETRICIANS: Come, labour on

GOLFERS: There is a green hill far away

POLITICIANS: Standing on the promises

LIBRARIANS: Let all mortal flesh keep silence

LAWYERS: In the hour of trial

DRY CLEANERS: O for a faith that will not shrink

CREDIT CARD USERS: A charge of keep have I

CENSUS TAKERS: All people that on earth do dwell

TAXATION OFFICERS: We give thee but thine own

TRAFFIC ENGINEERS: Where cross the crowded ways of life

Two robins were sitting in a tree.

"I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more.

"I m so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one.

"Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.

"OK," said the first.

So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat came

around and gobbled them up.

As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...

"I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."

A fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. A half-hour later, a nurse came in and asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

The doctor said, "Where?"

He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"