Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  Everyone knows it's hard to quit smoking - just ask the cat in "Cat Can't Quit Smoking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/cat-cant-quit-smoking

There are also more funny picture pages moved over from the old Cybersalt Site. To see them all, go to "Huge Nuclear Catfish" and then keep clicking the "next" button after each picture.
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/huge-nuclear-catfish

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Boss and E-Mail

I used to work for a multimillion dollar consulting firm doing desktop support. The gentleman who was in charge of several large government contracts decided he needed to send a letter via e-mail and wanted to know how to do so. Easy enough I suppose, until he happily handed me his letter on a sheet of paper crumpled up into a ball.

"That is the letter I want to send," he said. "Can't you stuff it into the floppy drive and send it"?

I tried to contain my laughter and explained to him how e-mail worked. Of course, after I left, I went outside and cried tears of uncontrollable laughter.

My boss never could get the hang of e-mail. He only used e-mail for one thing:sending weekly messages to his daughter, an English instructor in Saipan. We will call her Mary Smith, but that was not her name. Her address was simple enough, but every week he would call me over to the computer with another problem.

Boss: "It's gone! The e-mail I just spent an hour typing is gone!"

Me: "What happened"?

Boss: "I clicked 'Send,' and it just disappeared!"

Me: "It's in your outbox, because you told the computer to 'Send' it."

Boss: "Oh."

This happened almost every week. Either that or:

Boss: "It won't let me send this message."

Me: "You need to type her exact e-mail address, not just 'Mary Smith' in the To: field."

Boss: "Well, how many Mary Smiths could there be in Saipan"?

or...

Boss: "I send e-mail every week, they ought to know who it goes to by now!"

or...

Boss: "I thought computers were supposed to be smart!"

He would always send his e-mails on Tuesday so they would get to his daughter by Saturday.

One-liner #0740

"I am going to KILL the person who told me the new iPhone could be used as a bathroom scale!"
- @jimmykimmel

Waffle Sickness

"People with an unhealthy obsession over frozen waffles are eggomaniacs."

Quote #1193

"I think laughter is very imperative. And that's the important part of my life, of making people laugh so they can forget their problems. A good laugh is better than anything."
- Comedian Milton Berle (1908-2002)

Beyond the Storm

"Beyond The Storm"

It was evening as I climbed aboard the jumbo jet. I was tired.

It had been a hectic, emotionally stormy week. I had endured more than the usual schedule changes, telephone calls, interruptions, childrens activities, and arguments.

I settled into my seat, relieved to see the plane was nearly empty.

Maybe I could get some much needed rest. The giant plane took off and climbed up over the condominium complexes hugging the white stretch of beach bordering the deep blue sea of the Atlantic Ocean.

As we passed over Fort Lauderdale, I looked down at the twinkling lights reflected in the many canals and waterways and realized why our city is referred to as the Venice of America. I never tire of the beauty of South Florida.

I settled down, grateful for the quiet, Suddenly I noticed dark, ominous clouds off the left side of the wing. Soon bolts of lightning began to streak across the dark clouds.

I sat mesmerized by this vicious storm only a few miles away.

It was frightening, yet fascinating. It brought to mind many of the tempests I had experienced in my life. Financial storms, physical storms, emotional storms, relational storms, So many different types of storms with varying degrees of intensity.

Some had been as fearful and terrifying as this large thunderhead, others had been sudden, Some storms had resembled a weather front that moves in and wont go away.

As I sat there contemplating the severity of the weather outside the window, and the storm that had raged within my own life, I suddenly saw beyond the storm.

There, along the horizon, was one of the most magnificent sunsets I had ever been priveleged to witness, Brilliant gold blending with deep crimson fading into multiple shades of yellow, peach, apricot, and rose. What absolute, breathtaking beauty.

I watched with wonder and awe.

From the vantage point of 42,000 feet up, I knew that at any moment this formidable thunderstorm would probably hit our home west of Fort Lauderdale. But I could also see beyond the storm, and knew that in just a short space of time, those who would be hit by the storm, would also experience incredible beauty.

I was suddenly aware of how God must look upon the storms that hit our lives.

Often I have been in the midst of a fearful squall, and like the disciples, cried out, " Lord don't you care? Don't you see that I can't take any more?"

Of course He cares. In 1 Peter He reminds us that he cares for us.

That we are his personal concern. But, from his vantage point, He also sees the glory that is to follow. His message? Don't be discouraged in the midst of life's storms. Be assured that God cares and that his plans for us include a future and a hope.